8:46 Be Our Guest
On Shatner’s advice he ends the monologue with a big song and dance number set to the tune of the Disney favorite. Whether you loved or hated it, Seth’s got pipes.
8:44 Seth really, really likes Sally Field
In a bit with the Oscar nominee he dresses up as the Flying Nun and hits on Field and they start making out. Field’s a great sport.
8:42 Dancing with the stars
Daniel Radcliffe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Seth do a little soft shoe to “High Hopes.” (All of this in keeping with this year’s theme celebrating the movie musical.) Very classy and cute.
8:40 “Magic Mike,” a “Monster,” and Seth
In order to save the show and “celebrate” old style Hollywood glamour, Seth instead segues into “The Way You Look Tonight” and Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron do a lovely dance routine.
8:35 Captain Kirk beams down
William Shatner appears onscreen to needle Seth and to stop him from “destroying the Academy Awards” and shows him a headline from tomorrow saying he’s the worst host ever. He wonders why Tina Fey and Amy Poehler can’t host everything. And then he shares an “offensive” song that Seth will sing “later” called “We Saw Your Boobs,” which is actually pretty snappy.
8:30 Oscar meet “Ted”
Seth MacFarlane kicks things off with a winner: “The quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now.”
He also gets off a nice bit about Ben Affleck being shut out of the best director race saying that the story of “Argo” was so classified that the Academy didn’t even know who directed it.