Sure, it was hot and humid. But the skies were (mostly) clear, so hopefully you ignored the meteorologists' predictions of RAIN-SOAKED CERTAIN DOOM this weekend, and avoided cancelling your plans. And while you were out playing, you may have missed the following. So here's your weekend recap. Forecast: a hot Twitter tirade and a baby shower.
Alec Baldwin, someone whose opinion of gay people means about as much to me as where my lampshade stands on abortion, deleted his Twitter account after slamming a Daily Mail writer with a gay slur. On Friday the tabloid's George Stark posted a report (since removed) that Baldwin's wife was tweeting from the funeral of James Gandolfini. Baldwin did not take kindly to that, refuting the suggestion of grave impropriety with an eloquent, heartfelt message that defended his gentlemanly honor and simultaneously paid tribute to his affection for his talented, late acting peer. GOTCHA LOL! He actually tweeted, "I'm gonna find you, George Stark, you toxic little queen, and I'm gonna f-ck...you...up." He also offered to, "put my foot up your f-cking ass, George Stark, but I'm sure you'd dig it too much." Then he polished his monocle and ordered two dozen pizzas to Stark's house using the pseudonym Seymour Butts, because: Hollywood Royalty.
To be fair, Baldwin also calls his daughter, who is either 11- or 12-years old (he can't remember, okay?) a "pig" when he's mad. So "queen" is basically a term of endearment.
The initial shoulder-shrug that greeted Baldwin's tweet felt muted in the wake of all the recent hubbub over Paula Deen's racist remarks, leading some commentators to suggest there was a double-standard - or that Baldwin was getting a free pass from the media's liberal elite. (Anderson Cooper tweeted: Why does #AlecBaldwin get a pass when he uses gay slurs? If a conservative talked of beating up a 'queen' they would be vilified.")
Don't worry, though. Baldwin clarified that he was not taking potshots at anyone's sexuality, no siree. He did this via the two inevitable steps of any celebrity accused of saying something racist/sexist/homophobic/antisemitic: one, he apologized to the relevant media watchdog group. (While maintaining that it never had anything to do with being anti-Whatever in the first place. This always confuses me. "I don't believe I have anything to apologize for. Also, I apologize.")
Two - my fave! - he did that thing where the member of a non-maligned group clarifies to the maligned group that, oh, they define that slur about them differently. "A queen to me has a different meaning," Baldwin told Gothamist. "It’s somebody who’s just above. It doesn’t have any necessarily sexual connotations. To me a queen... I know women that act queeny, I know men that are straight that act queeny, and I know gay men that act queeny. It doesn’t have to be a definite sexual connotation, or a homophobic connotation."
So when Baldwin called that guy a "queen," right around the part where he also told him he probably likes stuff shoved up his butt, he did not mean it in the "gay" way. Just like when Paula Deen used the "n" word, she didn't mean black people. Okay? She meant people who act like her stereotypical idea of black people.
I think we can all feel better now. Also:
Jessica Simpson gave birth to her second child on Sunday. The baby boy was named Ace Knute Johnson, "Knute" paying tribute to the Swedish grandfather of baby-daddy, NFL player Eric Johnson. Comparatively speaking it's a pretty normal baby name by celebrity standards. So we can hang up our pitchforks and flaming torches, and cancel the traditional pogrom held when celebrities remind us how goddamn special they are by giving their kids stupid crazy names, something I hate so much I could just kill someone and eat their face off, because that affects me personally.
Boston-filmed flick The Heat, starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy as an unlikely pairing of crime-fighting cops, took in $40 million this weekend. (That's good.) Prepare for endless commentary about how the world is "finally ready" for female-centric comedies, and how this is the "year of the funny lady!" and how surprising it is that 50 percent of the population like, goes to the movies and makes jokes and stuff. Also, here's my review about how it was good and feminist-y.
The author is solely responsible for the content.