Alda has some keen observations, but no narrative
Should actors write?
That's not the question overtly posed by Alan Alda's "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself." But upon finishing this memoir/words-of-wisdom hybrid by the admired actor, readers might begin to wonder.
Not that Alda should be blamed for trying. The present circumstances of American public life practically require that movie, sports, and rock stars not only be model citizens, but diversify like corporate brands and add their two cents to the cultural babble. Be it Barack Obama's political reminiscences, Tedy Bruschi's recovery-from-medical-trauma memoir, or Madonna's children's-book empire, the celebrity-authored genre might as well have a dedicated shelf in the bookstore, between self-help and Oprah's picks.
Actors especially don't seem satisfied to merely entertain us on the stage and screen. In Alda's case, he's no writing rookie. He's penned scripts for "M*A*S*H" and screenplays for such movies as "The Four Seasons." His 2005 book, "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned," was a commercial success. In that largely chronological and conventional autobiography - challenges faced and successes noted along the way - what Alda lacked as a prose stylist was made up for by a knack for storytelling. From the first line ("My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six") to behind-the-scenes memories of M*A*S*H," we knew we'd at least be entertained.
"Never Have Your Dog Stuffed" ended with Alda's near death, on vacation in Chile, from an intestinal obstruction. He survived, of course, but was left hungering to know if, had he died then, he would have departed this earth having experienced a "good life." Fair enough. Brushes with near-death tend to conjure this sort of hasty introspection.
The haunting of that voice - "Are you living a life of meaning?" - begins "Things I Overheard." "I started rummaging in the back of my mind and in the bottoms of drawers for old speeches and other things I'd said that meant something to me" is how Alda explains the genesis of the book. In fact, a good chunk of the material is transcripts of commencement addresses Alda delivered at colleges like Emerson and Columbia's medical school, and at memorial services for fellow VIPs like Anne Bancroft and Peter Jennings.
Reflection serves as the connective tissue between these addresses. Alda writes with an informal and conversational tone, and he hits on some observations that, for lack of a better word, work. One story recounts his anxiety when asked to speak at Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home, in front of a group of scholars. "Terrifying myself, it turns out, is one of the ways I have of feeling alive," he writes, in an effective bit of self-analysis. His insights into acting for the stage - "that moment when nothing else exists but you and them, and yet everything exists" - also hit the mark.
Yet aside from a few snappy anecdotes, the narrative drive stalls. In the absence of storytelling, the writing better be stellar. Unfortunately, the Oscar-, Tony- and Emmy-nominated actor isn't up to the task. Alda's charms aside, this sum of public addresses doesn't add up to much more than a pleasant but unwieldy compilation of homilies, accomplishments, and recollections.
Perhaps, spoken aloud in the wry voice of Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself" might be more engaging - and funnier. This writer suggests buying the audiobook. But whether writers should act is another story.
Ethan Gilsdorf is a writer and critic from Somerville. He can be reached at ethan@ethangils dorf.com. 