Bridging years of friendship
DES MOINES - A year before it became a bestseller, author Jeffrey Zaslow wondered if all the time he’d put into his book about the longtime friendship of 11 women would be wasted.
The women initially had been eager to talk about their enduring relationship, which began as teens in Iowa and continued decades later. But after reading a draft of what would become “The Girls From Ames,’’ some thought they may have been too open with Zaslow.
“After we got into it, they got more nervous and the book almost fell apart,’’ he said. “I read diaries and journals and learned things they didn’t want me to know. All gave me letters written to them by the others - there had to be a lot of trust, which we lost a little and then gained some back.’’
Zaslow, a Wall Street Journal columnist, kept the book on track by explaining the need to portray their lives and agreeing to edit out some personal details.
The result is a book chronicling the friendships of “girls’’ who endured life’s challenges long after their friendships first blossomed living in the small, college town among the cornfields of central Iowa.
The women, now in their 40s, are spread across the country and share tales of hardships and successes. Two have been diagnosed with cancer, one suffered the death of a child, two have been divorced, and one mysteriously died at the age of 22.
Zaslow’s book, with 196,500 copies in print, remains at No. 24 on The New York Times best-sellers list after peaking at No. 3. It also rose as high as No. 4 on Publishers Weekly’s best-sellers list.
It all started with a column Zaslow wrote in 2003 about women’s friendships and how women are better at maintaining such relationships than men. After reading the column, more than 250 women contacted Zaslow to tell their stories about their friendships.
“I think every group of women has a story to tell and I was especially touched by a letter from Jenny from Ames,’’ said Zaslow. “I liked that they were in their 40s and from the Midwest.’’
Zaslow called Jenny and quickly found that the women had stories that were universal but also many that were one-of-kind, exhilarating, and haunting.
Those talks led to “The Girls From Ames,’’ which chronicles the lives and friendships of Marilyn, Karla, Sheila, Kelly, Jane, Diana, Cathy, Sally, Karen, Jenny, and Angela. After all these years, the group, down to 10 since Sheila died, still gather yearly for a reunion.
Jane Nash, who was known as the studious member of the group, said it’s clear from readers that the book moves them to evaluate their own friendships. Nash is now a psychology professor at Stonehill College outside Boston.
“They e-mail or call their friends - at least that’s what we’re hearing from people who read it,’’ she said.
Zaslow said the book required a lot of give-and-take and trust building.
The process started with phone calls between Zaslow and the women. He then flew around the country to meet with them and interviewed family members, old friends and ex-boyfriends.
Kelly Zwagerman, a high school journalism teacher in Faribault, Minn., said she and her friends were eager to share their stories but became nervous when Zaslow sought more details.
“Jeff saw that some of those details were important and we didn’t see that at first. Why would people want to know that about us?’’ said Zwagerman, 46, described as the free spirit of the group.
Zwagerman said she and her friends quickly heard from readers who were moved by the book.
“People read the book and think we’re all very close all the time and we’re all sort of best friends,’’ she said. “What’s best about this group is you have your choices and can connect with different people at different stages of your life.’’
Only one of the friends still lives in Iowa: Sally Hamilton, a 46-year-old teacher who lives in Spirit Lake. She credited the groups’ longevity to not holding grudges - even if they disagree.
“It’s unconditional friendship,’’ she said.
Jane Nash and Jeffrey Zaslow will be at Borders in Mansfield at 7 p.m. on July 8. 