‘When I Stop’

A couple of days after the Richie and Josie incident, I saw Jocelyn buying a newspaper and cigarettes at Ozzie’s Tobacco Shop on Pleasant Street. She was wearing a pink tank top and olive-green painter’s pants. Her toenails matched her shirt. I stayed out of sight behind a divider of greeting cards. When she started for the register I came out of hiding and followed her. I was shaking. I didn’t know what I was going to say or what she’d think of me for living with Richie. That whole “The friend of the enemy of my friend is my enemy’’ thing can be powerful. I stood behind her in line. She turned when I coughed.

“Hey, how’s it going?’’ I asked.

“Fine. You? ’’

I acted like a guy whose car is in the shop again. “Oh, you know.’’

“I hear you,’’ she said. She asked Ozzie for a pack of Marlboro Lights. He put the smokes on the counter. “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant soft pack, not box. Thank you,’’ she said sweetly.

I went for it. “Isn’t it weird how you have to have the right kind of pack? I mean, are Marlboros in a soft pack better than Marlboros in a box?’’

“Not better,’’ Jocelyn said. “Better for you.’’

“Ah, so that’s it.’’

“Keep it low. It’s an industry secret.’’

“Huh. And to think all these years . . .’’

“Same thing with Coke. A bottle’s better than a can.’’

“Really?’’

“Yup.’’ She pocketed her change and headed for the door.

I threw a twenty at Ozzie. “Coke or Pepsi?’’ I called after Jocelyn.

“Give me a break. Coke. Canada Dry or Schweppes? ’’

“Canada Dry, hands down. Canada or America? ’’

“Canada,’’ Jocelyn said. Ozzie didn’t know what the [expletive] was going on.

“Canada? You must be out of your mind,’’ I said. “Canada’s practically communist.’’

“Oh, brother, you’re not one of those, are you?’’

“I don’t think so. How do you tell? ’’

“You can never really tell, can you? ’’

“I can sometimes.’’

“Well, lucky you.’’ She folded her paper under her arm.

“Be good.’’ She stepped out onto the sidewalk.

“Hang on a second. Aren’t you going to have one of those smokes? ’’

“I plan on having all of them.’’

She was quick and she knew it. I loved both of those things about her.

“I meant now, while they’re still fresh.’’

“I’m in a rush.’’

“Come on. What are you going to say on your deathbed: I should have rushed around more?’’ Ozzie took his time with my change. “What’s one little smoke?’’

Jocelyn smiled. I watched her as she waited for me on the sidewalk.