Gifts of the dying

Pauline W. Chen (Dominic Chavez/Globe Staff)

As always happens, much of my interview with Dr. Pauline Chen, author of "Final Exam: A Surgeon's Reflections on Mortality," did not fit in the story about her in Tuesday's Globe. Here is what she said about the gifts that dying people give to their doctors:

"People say, 'you work with people who are dying -- that must be really depressing.' But they really do a huge amount for us. If you look at the studies, they show that it is very important for people at the end of life to have something called 'generativity' -- generousness, giving. I have found that people at the end of life do show how limitless human courage and generosity is. I'll give you one example, of many:

"There was a patient, a youngish man, who was dying. I was at the end of my training at that time. So I tried to do everything to help that family and that man. A couple of weeks before he died, his family members came up to me and said, 'Dr. Chen, we really appreciate everything you're doing for us. But we want you to take care of yourself, we want you to have a life.' Back then, I wasn't having a life. I was always at the hospital."

How did they know that about you?

"I don't know. They sensed it. Can you believe that at that moment, the most difficult time in their lives, they were talking to me about my life? It was amazing."