No pork chops, no applesauce
Christopher Knight's Peter Brady image is disappearing faster than Alice's chocolate chip cookies, and he couldn't be more pleased. It began when Knight ditched his high-tech job to live with Verne Troyer and a handful of other B- and C-list celebs on ''The Surreal Life 4." The Peter mystique will take another hit tomorrow night with the premiere of ''My Fair Brady" on VH1. The show details Knight's romance with ''Surreal Life" costar and model Adrianne Curry, who is 25 years his junior. Now that he's a reality TV star, Knight, 47, was eager to spill the goods.
Q. Is it OK if I only ask you questions about ''The Brady Bunch"?
Why wouldn't it be? They should be easy to answer by now. It's just wild that people still have an insatiable appetite for it.
Q.Speaking of appetites, I'm looking at a copy of Ann B. Davis's ''Brady Bunch Cookbook." There's a recipe here for Peter's Volcanic Mushroom Sauce. Can you tell me any of the ingredients in it? Have you ever made it?
I must have given this to Ann. My mushroom sauce. Hmm. OK. One of the ingredients in my volcanic mushroom sauce is mushrooms. And there's at least a modicum of cream in there. Am I wrong?
Q. You're not wrong.
Probably some salt and pepper. I don't know after that.
Q. I can give you a chance to redeem yourself if you can give me the recipe for Scoop Brady's Crab Saint Barts. Is it coming back to you? How about Peter's Perfect Peas?
No, but I can tell you there's a chicken rigatoni recipe in there. But who's really cooking from the damn ''Brady Bunch Cookbook"?
Q. Hey! I am.
You are? There was one recipe that has rat poison in it -- you should try that one.
Q. Well, I can take a hint.
You're having entirely too much fun with this.
Q. Any plans to reissue the 1973 album you recorded with Maureen McCormick on CD?
It needs to be rerecorded, not reissued. Maureen had to sing in my ear so I could sing into the microphone because I was incapable of displaying any musical talent. It's absolutely horrid.
Q. To play devil's advocate, some people might see you dumping your stable career, going back into entertainment, and dating a woman who's 25 years younger as a midlife crisis. I didn't say it, mind you, but some people might see it that way.
It is a midlife crisis. Although I don't know if it's a crisis. I wasn't looking for it. Is my going back into entertainment a midlife crisis? No, it's a change after 19 years. I ran away from entertainment a long time ago, essentially with unfinished business.
Q. Was part of that unfinished business a cameo on ''The Love Boat"?
I already did that.
Q. How about ''Fantasy Island"?
I didn't do ''Fantasy Island," but I did a movie of the week that was a rip-off of ''Fantasy Island." I also did ''The Bionic Dog," which was supposed to be a spinoff of ''The Bionic Woman" But that didn't end up going anywhere.
Q. Ready for more Brady trivia?
Try me. I'm having a good Brady day.
Q. The name of Marcia's two kids on ''The Bradys"?
I have no friggin' idea.
Q. The name of the older woman Peter dated in episode number 100 when he wore a fake mustache and pretended his name was Phil?
OK, now this is just getting creepy. You need to find something more constructive to do with your time.
CHRISTOPHER MUTHER 