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The good, the bad, and the ugly

Dr. Cap Lesesne's recently published book, ''Confessions of a Park Avenue Plastic Surgeon," offers some very tasty dirt on the inside world of celebrity plastic surgery -- up to a point. Unfortunately, a pesky thing called doctor-patient confidentiality gets in the way of Lesesne revealing the names of the movie stars, television anchors, and royalty that he has had the pleasure of liposuctioning and lasering. Yet another example of ethics getting in the way of a good time. Needing a bit more to chew on, we rang Lesesne, who has performed more than 15,000 procedures, and asked him to run through the good, the bad, and the desperately in need of plastic surgery in Hollywood.

''Have you seen the new Chanel ad?" he asked. ''It looks like Nicole Kidman has had some work done, and not just Botox."

Keep talking, doctor.

CHRISTOPHER MUTHER

The good plastic surgeries:

CHER: ''It works for her. Obviously, she looks different, but she's still an attractive woman. So you can have plastic surgery that can seem obvious, but it can still be beneficial. She was very clever. She started early and did small things."

JOAN RIVERS: ''Let's face it, Joan Rivers is a great-looking woman for her age. I met her multiple times up close. It's served her well."

MICHELLE PFEIFFER: ''She's had great plastic surgery. She still looks stunning."

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER/ SYLVESTER STALLONE: ''They look OK, although it might be a little bit obvious to people that they've had work done."

The bad plastic surgeries:

FARRAH FAWCETT: ''She's such an attractive woman, and the bad work has not only changed her face, but her persona. Plastic surgery has that capacity. For good and for bad. It can change people physically and psychologically."

FAYE DUNAWAY: ''Some of the things she's had done I would do a little bit differently. Her surgery gives her the appearance of being an entirely different person. Good plastic surgery shouldn't be noticeable."

DONATELLA VERSACE: ''Her lips have gotten much larger, but not necessarily in a good way."

THE WOMEN OF ''DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES": ''Some people may say the women of 'Desperate Housewives' are overdone. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's the one big caveat of surgery. People try to achieve different things."

Could stand a bit of nipping and tucking:

MARTHA STEWART: ''She's a very attractive woman. And with some small things, she could look even more fabulous than I already think she is."

TOM CRUISE: ''He may have already had some surgery on his nose. If you take a good-looking man, small things go a long way. He has fairly low-set eyebrows. A small amount of Botox would preserve his youthful appearance."

NICOLAS CAGE: ''He could really use some work on his forehead and eyebrows. His brow is quite furrowed."

HELEN HUNT: ''She has heavy upper lids. You'd have to be very careful about doing work on Helen Hunt, because you'd need to make her look like a younger version of Helen Hunt, not a different version. A full brow lift would be a disaster."

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