Men just wanna have pot roast

Amid all this talk about men who may or may not be necessary, women who may or may not be hopelessly retro, and who's responsible for the whole mess, pop-relationship writer Dalma Heyn (right) arrives with news: The problem isn't women. It's men. Just as we always thought.

That's the subject of Heyn's new book, ''Drama Kings: The Men Who Drive Strong Women Crazy," which purports -- New York Times columnists, take note -- to spell out the problem explicitly. The issue, Heyn told us from her Westport, Conn., home this week, is a certain set of single men who live in the 21st century but pine for the 20th. They're attracted to bold, independent types, but they really want someone content to cook them a pot roast at the end of a long day.

They're confused, ladies. Steer clear.

Heyn is reluctant to give us real-life examples, save one. Tom Cruise. Sorry, Katie. That whole no-antidepressants thing, Heyn says, is ''a very 10th-century thing to say." But based on Heyn's five examples of the form, we've culled some candidates from pop culture.
JOANNA WEISS

The Visitor
Traits: Leaves early on Sunday mornings to go running, get oil change, wash hair. Doesn't find it charming when you leave your toothbrush on his counter. ''He sort of treats her as if she runs a B&B," Heyn says.

Examples: Mr. Big (Chris Noth) on ''Sex and the City," George Clooney

The Proprietor
Traits: Gives good gifts. Wants play-by-play of your day. Your women friends think he's a psycho. ''This is the guy who wants to own you. He's very jealous," Heyn says.

Examples: Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov) on ''Sex and the City," Carlos Solis (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) on ''Desperate Housewives," David Copperfield, Alec Baldwin, Tom Cruise, George Clooney

The Easy- Going Guy
Traits: Laid-back. Cuddly. Mysterious private life. ''His whole answer to everything is sort of 'Whatever,' " Heyn says.

Examples: Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey, above) on ''Grey's Anatomy," Vaughn (Michael Vartan) on ''Alias," Ethan Hawke, George Clooney

The Hit-and-Run Lover
Traits: Moves fast, claims to want domestic bliss. Doesn't. Disappears. ''He's the guy who goes to the corner to get some aspirin and he never comes back," Heyn says.

Examples: Conor Oberst, Owen Wilson, George Clooney

The Feeling-Impaired Guy
Traits: Robotic, chilly. Comes across as shy. Might do yoga, but he doesn't mean it. Never had lasting relationship. ''He talks about finding a perfect girl," Heyn says. ''There is no perfect girl."

Examples: Brad Pitt, Nate Fisher (Peter Krause) on ''Six Feet Under," George Clooney