A tired attempt

Is there anything a celebrity can't do? When not working their magic on screens large and small, it seems a few thespians are trying their hand at song. ''Unexpected Dreams: Songs From the Stars," out today on Rhino Records, is a collection of lullabies sung by television and movie actors. But since art is supposed to imitate life, we've made some suggestions for future tunes that better reflect these stars' true lives.
BOBBY HANKINSON

Scarlett Johansson ''Summertime"
Sounds like: Marilyn Monroe's sexy drawl meets Norah Jones's lackadaisical cooing.
Maybe next time: Rock Aerosmith's ''Love in an Elevator" dedicated to Benicio Del Toro in memory of their supposed post-Oscar tryst.

Ewan McGregor ''The Sweetest Gift"
Sounds like: Nick Lachey's lost solo work.
Maybe next time: Try Neil Young's ''The Needle and the Damage Done" to bring the focus back on his brilliant work in ''Trainspotting" instead of -- yikes -- ''The Island."

Taraji P. Henson ''In My Daughter's Eyes"
Sounds like: Whitney Houston the morning after.
Maybe next time: Stick to the hook from ''It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp."

Jennifer Garner ''My Heart Is So Full of You"
Sounds like: An understudy in a community theater's production of ''Cats."
Maybe next time: Fill Ben's heart with a rendition of ''Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Fenway Park.

Jeremy Irons ''Make You Feel My Love"
Sounds like: Dave Matthews circa 2035.

Maybe next time: ''So Fresh, So Clean" by OutKast, given Irons's penchant for mopping up beer-soaked airport lounges.

John Stamos ''Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)"
Sounds like: Uncle Jesse doing his best Billy Joel impression.
Maybe next time: The Doobie Brothers' ''The Doctor" to prep for his upcoming role on ''ER."

Lucy Lawless ''Little Child"
Sounds like: Linda Ronstadt with a sword.
Maybe next time: Don't let the fanboys (and girls) down, embrace Xena with ''The Warrior" by Scandal.

Marissa Jaret Winokur ''The Wish Song"
Sounds like: An outtake from a Disney musical.
Maybe next time: In addition to her work in ''Hairspray," you may remember Marissa Jaret Winokur from the first installment of the ''Scary Movie" franchise. Although her character met an unfortunate end in the automatic door, look back on the scene fondly with Weezer's ''In the Garage."

Eric McCormac ''The Greatest Discovery"
Sounds like: An ''American Idol" reject (Paula might like it, but Simon would call it ''boring").
Maybe next time: As ''Will & Grace" comes to a close, say goodbye to your on-screen persona with Bright Eyes' ''You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will."

Victor Garber ''No One Is Alone"
Sounds like: Someone forgot the lyrics to a high school play and is making them up as they go along.
Maybe next time: Play off the success of ''Alias" with a cover of ''Secret Agent Man."

Julia Louis-Dreyfus ''Nightshift"
Sounds like: A lounge singer in a dive bar.
Maybe next time: Skip the song and go right to the dancing. Try as she might, JL-D will always be Elaine Benes spastically grooving to the horror of those around her.

Nia Vardalos ''Golden Slumbers"
Sounds like: My big fat Greek coffee commercial.
Maybe next time: Billie Holiday's ''Now or Never." It's time for a big fat Greek follow-up, before it's clear you're a big, fat Greek one-trick pony.

John C. Reilly ''Lullabye in Ragtime"
Sounds like: An exact replica of his solo in ''Chicago" -- not too much of a stretch here.
Maybe next time: Draw from the passion illustrated when Reilly walked off the set of ''Manderlay" over the killing of a donkey. Let Juvenile's ''Back That Azz Up" be your new battle cry.

Teri Hatcher ''Good Night"
Sounds like: her voice is escaping a hollow, cavernous space. Oh wait . . .
Maybe next time: While we can only speculate what this Desperate Housewife chooses to snack on -- though by the look of her skeletal frame, we'd venture to guess not much -- her tabloid-fodder love life suggests Hall & Oates' ''Maneater."

SAMPLE ''UNEXPECTED DREAMS" Check out audio clips at www.boston.com/clips.