New Year's rockin' Eve

''You're looking at a man who lives, eats, and breathes rock 'n' roll,'' says Robby Roadsteamer, describing himself. ''When a lot of people get off stage, they take off their costumes. But the Steamer was genetically bred to save the Boston rock scene. Even down to my tattoos. Look, I have the Route 1 miniature golf dinosaur.''

He's not lying. On Roadsteamer's upper arm, the orange T. Rex from the Saugus mini golf course does battle with Jesus. It's unknown why the prehistoric beast is fighting the Son of God with numchucks, and it's impossible to ask the question because Roadsteamer's sandpaper voice never seems to stop bellowing. After a tour of a few more tattoos - Roadsteamer depicted as a centaur, an inked Carlton Fisk who hits the ball out of the park when Roadsteamer flexes - you realize it's probably best not to ask if his skin gallery holds any deep meaning.

Roadsteamer is exactly the kind of curiosity that parents fear their children will someday associate with, or, even worse, become. He sings deliberately goofy heavy metal songs such as ''I Put a Baby in You,'' ''The Hand I Beat Dogs With,'' ''Naked Except for Socks,'' and several others with titles that would cause grown men to blanch. He wears a purple headband, George Michael sunglasses in dark clubs in December, and he has an ego that stretches longer than Gene Simmons's tongue. He's the inappropriately loud guy who can be found at most hard rock shows encouraging women to feel his muscles.

''Yeah, these are some dangerous guns,'' he says, flexing shamelessly.

This week he caps a year - one that included a record deal and a second-place finish in the WBCN Rock 'n' Roll Rumble - with a New Year's Eve show downstairs at the Middle East.

''I know there are other bands playing that night,'' he says, noisily guzzling Red Bull at the Hong Kong restaurant. ''If you want to see other bands struggling to milk that retro-'80s thing, then God bless you. There's no reason why you should break away from your safe life of TiVo-ing 'The O.C.,' working eight to five, and then going out to dinner at Panera Bread. I'm only looking for people who don't want to read 'The Da Vinci Code' and who don't want their friends telling them what was on 'Oprah Winfrey' yesterday.''

This is familiar territory for Roadsteamer, who has been on a crusade against what he sees as pretentiousness and mediocrity in the local music scene. It's second only to knocking critics who see his Roadsteamer persona and bad wig as nothing more than a comedic schtick.

''You got kids out there dressing up as mimes, playing piano and drums, and winning the WBCN Rumble,'' he says, referring to the Dresden Dolls. ''I don't understand what makes us the Howie Mandels of the music scene. We're the real deal. We went into the Rumble, and we dominated. But they decided to give first place to some guy with a plexiglass eye who plays calypso music for old people. The last time I checked, it was called the Rock 'n' Roll Rumble, not the elevator music rumble.''

Despite the second-place Rumble finish to Reverend Glass Eye, Roadsteamer is not slowing his prolific string of albums. In 2004 he released ''Okay Computer,'' explaining that his album was entirely different from Radiohead's ''OK Computer'' because he was actually singing about an Atari 2600. Earlier this year, he released ''Heart of a Rhino,'' an autobiographical album he describes as ''a journey through relationships that went on too long and didn't go anywhere. Girls getting taken out in the prime of their lives by babies ..... and sports bars filled with chicks with horrible tribal tattoos. It's a Zima-soaked tour of the North Shore.''

In the spring he'll release ''Postcards From the Den of Failure,'' which he promises will help him break out of New England and make him a national star. But before then, he's focused on throwing a bacchanal to celebrate his big year.

''If you're afraid of people who fight for rock 'n' roll music with swords and Viking helmets, and who eat turkey legs onstage, then don't show up,'' he warns. ''There are plenty of places where you can get in touch with your feelings and listen to this European crap and crochet with Reverend Glass Eye or dress like a mime with the Dresden Dolls. I'm not interesting in making music about crocheting. The people I play for want to make out with their girlfriends; they want to drink a lot of stuff that inhibits them from making smart decisions; and they want to eat lots of Hot Pockets.''

Robby Roadsteamer performs Saturday downstairs at the Middle East, with Darkbuster, Eli ''Paperboy'' Reed, and Brunt of It. Middle East, 472 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. 617-492-9181. $15, $12 advance. 9 p.m.