Snow Storms and 90210

Snow Storms

Everyone knows the apocalypse, when it comes, is going to be sweet. Just look at movies like "I Am Legend." You get to speed around empty cities in awesome cars and take whatever you want. Although I suppose that whole massive human death toll, and the inevitability of some sort of zombie-vampires terrorizing the night thing is kind of a bummer, but whatever. In the meantime we're all going to have to settle for the type of snow storms we've had this past week to give us a taste of what complete societal breakdown is like. Cars buried in the snow, people walking down the middle of the street, runs on the grocery store, everyone holed up in survival bunkers, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria. Everything you thought you knew goes out the window, and previously reasonable humans begin hoarding parking spots like mutant gladiators with spiked football helmets protecting a dwindling fuel supply. Plus the nearly unlivable conditions make even the most mundane everyday events into some sort of survivalist scenario. I feel like Bear Grylls traversing an icy tundra every time I climb my driveway: "Watch as Adventure Dude moves with caution across the deadly sheet of ice, going where only an elite group of Sherpas has ever gone before . . . his mailbox!" [Luke O'Neil]

90210

Dec. 11 wasn't my birthday, but the feeling was similar. That's right, Season 3 of "Beverly Hills 90210" came out on DVD. After I finish watching it, I'll put it on the shelf next to seasons 1 and 2. I'm not sure if it's because of Jason Priestley's pompadour, Tori Spelling's countless plastic surgeries, or maybe just that my high school experience didn't resemble theirs for even a nanosecond, but I love this show! I'm ridiculed by my friends and envied by my wife's friends. I am an endless font of trivial knowledge about this nighttime soap opera. If I'm in the right mood, even the opening guitar solo in the credits makes me emotional. Some people make drinking games out of the show, but for me drinking would just get in the way of my viewing pleasure. And that says a lot, because I am a man who likes his drink. [Rob Macey, bartender, West Side Lounge]

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