Upstairs, downstairs

The Union Oyster House is bustling. The famous bar where Daniel Webster tossed back sliders is turning out plates of half-shells as fast as they can be shucked. Tourists are prowling the gift shop for trinkets. Upstairs, students are eating chowder in the John F. Kennedy booth, the one he sat in every Sunday, reading the newspaper over a bowl of lobster stew.

But step into another room on the top floor of the ancient building and you enter a different world. "The Royal Thai Consulate," announces a small brass plaque. Inside are travel brochures for Phuket, statues of Buddha, and ornately carved teak furniture. The oyster, revered downstairs, has been replaced by statues and paintings of the elephant, revered in Thailand.

"Welcome to Thailand," says Joe Milano, the man in the middle of these two disparate worlds. He is both proprietor of the country's oldest restaurant and honorary consul general for Thailand -- "honorary" only because he's not a Thai national. These days, he's in the middle of a two-year celebration of the king of Thailand's 80th birthday and his 60th anniversary as the world's longest- ruling monarch. In September, Milano hosted a tribute to the king ; this summer, he'll help out with another event. "Tributes are taking place this year throughout the world," says Milano, an unabashed groupie of King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

Milano's two worlds span thousands of miles, but they're only separated by a door at 41 Union St., just down from Faneuil Hall. Milano owns one of the busiest restaurants in town, and for the past four years he's also headed one of the busiest Thai consul offices in the country: "We're very active because the king was born here, and because of the big educational base in Boston," says Milano, who was appointed in 2003.

It's not just a figurehead appointment -- the office processes 700 visa applications a year, from students to tourists to business executives. When Thai dignitaries are in town, it is Milano who meets and greets them. He visits the embassy in Washington at least once a year on official business and goes to Thailand twice a year. In 2004, when a deadly tsunami hit Southeast Asia, devastating parts of Thailand, Milano fielded dozens of e-mails from Americans anxious for information about loved ones.

It is a labor of love. There is no salary, though Milano earns a small processing fee from each visa, which goes toward a salary for his assistant, Jean Hayes. It is obvious that his vocation -- running the restaurant -- supports his avocation -- running the consulate.

It's hard to say which life makes Milano proudest. Standing in the restaurant, he notes that the Union Oyster House is a stop on Boston's famed Freedom Trail and the only restaurant in the country that has been named a national historic landmark. But then he rattles on about Thailand: his dozen trips there, the wonderful people, the fantastic food, the beautiful terrain, the king who was born at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge. "And did you know," he says excitedly, "that the king is the only living monarch who is a US citizen?" He's as up on his Thai history as he is his Boston history, and he is a serious student of both.

Milano's interest in Southeast Asia began when he served in Vietnam. A graduate of Norwich University in Vermont, the oldest private military college in the country, he first visited Thailand in 1983 on an exchange program. It was, he says, love at first sight.

In 1989, with considerable persuasion from Milano, the Cambridge City Council named a square near the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard after the monarch: the King Bhumibol Monument Square. For that, Milano was named by the king to the "Exalted Order of the White Elephant," a high honor in Thailand.

Milano's two business cards sit side by side in holders on the desk where he conducts both restaurant and consulate business. One of his cards bears the golden seal of the Kingdom of Thailand, the other a sketch of the antique brick building that dates to 1716 and has served food continuously since 1826.

For visitors to the consulate, there's a separate entrance, one door down from the Union Oyster House; it is flanked by the Thai flag and the king's flag. (Milano doesn't speak Thai, except for a few "courtesy words," including the ever-useful "no problem.")

As for the restaurant, it is a regular stop on the campaign trail -- John Kerry always eats there on Election Day -- and stars from Hollywood to the Super Bowl drop in, as well as tourists from Buffalo to Boise. Three registry books bulge with boldface names and a caricature of some of the most famous patrons hangs on a wall. That's Bill Clinton sitting between Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush. There's Matt Damon, Bobby Orr, Tiger Woods, Meryl and Clint and Bette.

"Billy Crystal and Robin Williams came in together. They were fascinating characters," says Milano, 63, who grew up in the North End and conveys an old-world sense of decorum in both his speech and impeccable dress.

In 1970, Milano's father, Joseph Sr., bought the restaurant. He died in 1977. Today the place is run by Milano and his sister, Mary Ann. Their mother, Mary, still comes in seven days a week and sits at her desk near the front, at age 90. "Ninety and a half," she corrects her son, who calls her "Mother" and kisses her on the cheek.

On a recent weekday, Milano has attended the funeral of a fellow member of the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company of Massachusetts -- known around town as "the Ancients and Honorables," or simply "the ancients." Hanging on a suit rack near his desk in the consulate is a military jacket heavy with ribbons and medals. Milano points out each one with obvious pride: Some are American, others are Thai.

The Ancients and Honorables, a ceremonial militia, have been the butt of jokes over the years and Milano doesn't like it, not one bit. Like when Mayor Curley famously said of the group: "Invisible in war, invincible in peace."

"The jokes are unacceptable," says Milano. "We have purpose, we have mission, we have vision."

But they don't have women. Not yet.

"My joke is, why would they want to join?" asks Jill Milano, who has been married to Joe for 40 years. They have four daughters and eight grandchildren, and their Lynnfield home is a funny mix of beautiful and rare Scandinavian antiques and plastic Fisher-Price toys.

The couple fell in love with the light, hand-painted furniture decades ago and have one of the finest private collections in the country: tables, chairs, chests, corner cupboards, grandfather clocks, and armoires. In the backyard of the brick Georgian Colonial is a pool with a small waterfall -- and a Thai spirit house. Of course, there are traces of Milano's oyster persona, too: a large painting of the restaurant over a couch, and oyster plates on walls throughout the home.

They have three other homes: an apartment downtown, a townhouse on the Cape, and a Florida condo. Milano's office showcases miniature flags of all the countries he has visited: "I'm up to 108 or 109." He also serves on the boards of several local institutions, including the Massachusetts Convention Center, the Peabody Essex Museum, and the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary.

As for Thailand, Milano fell in love with it partly because it satisfied his hospitality gene: "The service in the hotels and restaurants is second to none."

At his own seafood restaurant, Milano eats the same lunch every day: a Caesar salad. "I'm a South Beach Diet nut," he says sheepishly. Sometimes he'll put a Thai dish on the Union Oyster House menu.

But, confesses the honorary consul general of Thailand, his voice dropping: "I'm not a big fan of curry."