Still smarting, Kerry supporters find sites for their sore eyes
Tears and laughs are shared via the Internet as Democrats vent over the election
The day after Election Day, as it became clear that George W. Bush had indeed been reelected, Rocky Prozeller, an anti-Bush diehard, sat at his computer and tried to find something funny to say.
He managed to bang out "10 reasons not to cry yourself to sleep at night" and e-mailed them to two dozen pals. Among the reasons: "Based on the precedent set forth by our commander in chief, we are all on a four-year vacation, effective immediately," and "Pesky words like 'nuclear' and 'subliminal' will be pulled out of American vocabulary."
He also made sure to forward any satirical blasts at Bush that came his way. "It was to cheer my friends up," said Prozeller, 25, of Brighton. "It serves a medicinal purpose. It really helps you overcome that complete depression."
If laughter is indeed the best medicine, liberals and Democrats have plenty to choose from these days. In a striking blend of catharsis, sour grapes, and solidarity, the Internet is aflame with attempts to have the last word -- often an unprintable one -- on Bush's reelection. Parodies that employ humor laced with anger -- or the other way around -- have been whizzing around the Web since Bush defeated John F. Kerry on Nov. 2.
For many young voters, weaned on irony but now grappling with their first political disappointment, these cyberspoofs fill an emotional need while matching their fundamentally sardonic sensibilities.
"These are people who tried to express themselves by voting, and that failed," observed Michael Colton, a 28-year-old screenwriter and comedian on "Best Week Ever," a satirical news show on VH1.
"This is another route to express their views. People who are younger tend to be Web-savvy. If the Internet were part of the Electoral College, it would be a blue state."
After a campaign in which bloggers emerged as a force to be reckoned with, the frenzy of postelection Bush-bashing suggests another role for the Internet: as the center of a collective mourning ritual for those on the losing side of elections. "It's just dressing the wounds, I guess," said Carol Kolb, editor of The Onion, an online humor magazine. "The average person was a little more involved in this election than in past ones."
It could be argued that Republicans and conservatives will have the last laugh, what with their control of the White House, both houses of Congress, and a majority of governors' offices nationwide. No quantity of forwarded e-mail jokes will change that political arithmetic. Perhaps that knowledge explains why, for those Democrats and liberals who had fervently wished for Bush's political demise only to see him renew his four-year-lease on the White House, the funny bone appears to be not far from the spleen.
One cyberspoof, found on a site called www.marryanamerican.ca, offers political sanctuary to refugees from Bush-led America. The Canadian site's homepage features pictures of several 20-somethings and announces: "Now that George W. Bush has been officially elected, single, sexy, American liberals -- already a threatened species -- will be desperate to escape."
It adds: "You can help. Open your heart, and your home. Marry an American. Legions of Canadians have already pledged to sacrifice their singlehood to save our southern neighbors from four more years of cowboy conservatism."
Filmmaker Michael Moore combined seriousness and whimsy in a message posted on his website. Titled: "17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists," it puts forward as reason No. 1 that "It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again." No. 9: "Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now." No. 12: "Admit it: We like the Bush twins and don't want them to go away."
One much e-mailed missive features a faux Time magazine cover with a photo of Bush and a headline that proclaims: "We are [expletive]" Another fairly bristles with fury, repeatedly using the same Anglo-Saxonism in its verb form to virulently attack the South, which went solidly for Bush. After reminding Southerners that the Second Amendment, which protects the right to bear arms, was secured by "wig-wearing, lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries" who were "blue-staters," the letter informs Southerners that "We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and . . . Plymouth Rock until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments." Still another, headlined "2004 election recap," embedded words such as "Ohio" and "Nader" in a wall of profanity.
Some jokes, mass-mailed before the election, gained renewed popularity afterward, such as a mock letter to Bush that thanks him for "doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law." After asserting: "When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination . . . ," the letter-writer makes a satirical point by asking Bush for advice on certain other aspects of God's Law. In a deadpan style, the author inquires of the president: "I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?"
In part, these broadsides suggest the Onionization of America, in which thousands of would-be humorists use the Internet to add their contributions to the national dialogue. "Anyone in the country can do something funny, and if it's good, it will get passed around," said Kolb, the Onion editor. "Of course, there's a lot of crap that gets passed around."
Whether the jokes hit or miss, they serve a therapeutic purpose to those whose candidate came up short on Election Day. "It's a communal effort," Prozeller said. "We're trying to pick each other up. So I passed on anything I found funny."
Colton, of VH1, expects the anti-Bush tsunami of jokes and tirades to ebb over time. "It's a venting," he said. "The tone will change. I will be surprised if people are still sending these e-mails around and setting up these sites in six months."
Don Aucoin can be reached at aucoin@globe.com.![]()