Paris Hilton succeeds at self-parody in 'Pledge This!'
Last year, one rich blond girl got it right by parodying her own image, courtesy of a short-lived VH1 faux-reality series. Now another takes her turn, and it's deer-in-the-headlights Paris Hilton taking a cue from fellow celebutante Tori Spelling.
In "National Lampoon's Pledge This! " Hilton "plays" Victoria English, the self-described "sorority princess of South Beach University." With classes like "Introduction to Sexual Positions," no wonder SBU is the "it" college, as Victoria often says.
The student body is composed of every stereotype imaginable. There are the mean sorority girls (including Victoria and hopeful pledge Kristen, played by Sarah Carter, who does sweet-yet-conflicted oh so well). And then there's the group of misfit girls who band together simply because they aren't "hot." Each one may as well have a blue "my name is" tag on her imitation Dolce & Gabanna clothing labeling her physical hitch: "Overweight Girl," "Closeted Lesbian Girl," "Indian Girl Whose Name No One Can Pronounce."
No real energy was put into the creation of these "different" characters, which makes it easier for Victoria, as reigning princess of this fabulous institution, to put everybody down, mostly via narration.
Wait, you didn't think Paris could both walk and talk at the same time, did you?
But when given a chance to talk, Hilton has perfect timing: "My dog is such a perv, I love it," she says after she and her pooch witness a restroom ménage-à-trois. "Mmmm . . . Now I'm in the mood for sushi," she quickly throws in before leaving.
While "Pledge This!" surprisingly excels in catty banter, the same cannot be said for its technical aspects. The editing is just plain awful, with shots beginning and ending abruptly, and for no apparent reason. One especially painful scene featuring Simon Rex and newcomer Geoffrey Arend was obviously shot in two sessions with very different lighting. (Filming of "Pledge This!" finished in 2004, so one wonders what went on during those two leisurely years of postproduction.)
In order to fill 90 minutes, there is some threadbare plot about the sorority's goal of winning a lad magazine's "hottest sorority" contest. They need some diversifying within the house (i.e., geeks and scientists), which is where the group of misfits comes in.
Most of the film's gags have already been done: There's an exploding toilet, a past-her-prime woman who enjoys displaying her faded charms, and a horny undergrad who poses as a gay man in an attempt to get some sex. Compared to the negative female stereotypes, however, the male characters almost manage to make "Pledge This!" seem like a study in female empowerment: the women may be stupid, but the men are complete idiots.
As for Hilton herself, she's an amazing woman, able to simultaneously over- and underact, yet always keeping her signature pose intact. But self-parody works for her. So enjoy it, because up to now, her greatest filmed performances have included her getting a pole through the head in "House of Wax" and that infamous use of a night-vision camera.
Rocco B. Colella can be reached by email at rcolella@globe.com. 
