Oh, right. He's Mickey Rourke.

You're a washed-up actor -- a real laughing stock -- who miraculously gets a second shot at the brass ring. And you nail it: Your comeback vehicle is a critical hit and an instant classic -- maybe not a huge moneymaker but a movie that connects deeply with everyone who sees it. Your performance is all you and everyone else could have hoped for. Art, truth, honesty; the whole ball of wax. There's a very good chance you may win a Best Actor Oscar.

So what's your next move? Of course: Signing up to play a Russian villain in a superhero sequel. Yes, it's "Iron Man 2," and Downey and Sam Rockwell are also in the cast, but a superhero sequel is a superhero sequel, and you're playing a bad guy. You're doubtless thinking, hey, it worked for Heath Ledger. Too bad he's the exception that proves the rule.

I don't feel good about this. Mickey 2.0, we hardly knew ye.