81st Oscars 10:22 p.m.

Tom Cruise just made me laugh in a Jimmy Kimmel promo. This is a man who needs more comedies. We want to laugh with him, at him, through him. Whatever. Just stop with the piety. By the way, is he our $4 billion man? Speaking of money: We're on to the montage for action movies, which is excitingly assembled but kind of problematic since the Academy still doesn't have a category for stunt work.

Will Smith has just risen out of the floor to do the effects categories. This, I believe, is our $4 billion man. The tux alone must be worth at least two. "Benjamin Button" wins visual effects. "The Dark Knight" wins sound editing. (Is that movie's co-writer and director, Christopher Nolan, seated in the nose-bleeds?) "Slumdog Millionaire" wins sound mixing; and one of the three winners, Resul Pookutty, is beside himself. Chris Dickens wins film editing for "Slumdog Millionaire." So for those of you keeping score at home, I think that's three/three for "Slumdog."