81st Oscars 9:38 p.m.

In an accidental tribute to Hanna Schmitz of "The Reader," Jessica Biel, this year's science-awards host, fights to prove her literacy. Meanwhile, her dress fights itself not to eat the rest of her. This could be something from a 1950s horror movie, with Vincent Price: William Castle presents "The Dress!" It's unclear at the moment who made it, but it doesn't look like it would survive a "Project Runway" judging. Notice Tim Gunn didn't go near Biel during the pre-show.