Lindsay Lohan's hot mess

Since she now no longer needs the movies or, perhaps, since the movies no longer need her, Lindsay Lohan has turned to fashion. That was her guest-judging last month for a round on "Project Runway." (Ra'mon, my friend, I knew you were doomed when, upon seeing La Lohan, you doubled over in star-shock.) In any case, she seemed lucid enough. In welcoming her to the show, Heidi Klum mentioned that Lohan was designing a line, but I didn't give it a second thought since, like everyone else, I'm due to unveil a collection next month.

If that were true (sorry, put down your credit cards), I'd like to think I'd avoid the horrified reaction to the collection Lohan showed at Paris Fashion Week on Sunday. She designed the collection with the talented Spanish designer Estrella Archs for Ungaro, the venerable brand where mysteriously Lohan has been installed as artistic adviser. I don't know all the details (although, really, what more is there to know?). Either way, this strikes me as desperately unsound, like relying on the least drunk person at the party to be the designated driver. The collection Lohan and Archs (pictured above, looking understandably glum) have designed would certainly not have survived the anorexic-junkie-starlet challenge on "Runway." (Though come judgment hour, I can imagine the Spaniard throwing Freckles under the bus.)

The intrepid Eric Wilson was behind the scenes on the eve of the Paris show. And the LA Times's Envelope blog contributes its two cents along with a photo of Lohan that suggests that she's doing everything in her power to add 30 years to her young life. It's as if she's currently in the process of becoming Donatella Versace. Let's pray it's for a movie.