"Trapped in the Closet," chapter 15

By Saul Austerlitz
Globe Correspondent

"Well, well, well. If it ain’t Laverne and Shirley." So begins the latest chapter of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet." The tense showdown promised yesterday between Twan and his nemeses Tina and Roxane has broken out into the open, but Twan has retained some of his signature good humor even when blinded with rage. Twan demands satisfaction for the three years he served in prison because of the two women, but Roxane’s tale ends up placing him in a markedly different light.

Twan is less sinned against than sinner, "smoking trees...and bumping Mary J" during their abortive Atlanta-bound drug run, attracting the attention of the police and bringing about their arrest. His shouting Dave Chappelle’s signature catchphrase "I’m Rick James..." was likely little help, leaving "the Three Stooges laid out in the dirt."

Sylvester, meanwhile, is as inscrutable as ever. Sensibly restraining Twan from taking out his anger on Tina and Roxane, he immediately proceeds to pull a gun in search of answers. Calmly puffing his cigarette, and posing runway-style in his chocolate-colored three-piece suit, he coughs up his smoke when Tina drops her bombshell about why she wanted to protect Twan from the cops: "Cause at the time I was pregnant by you, T.," Kelly sings in the falsetto he has trademarked for conclusions -- the musical equivalent of the camera lazily rising into the sky at the close of a film.

Saul Austerlitz's daily updates on "Trapped in the Closet" will be running on Sound Effects for the next seven days.