When Beyonce and Jay Z opened the 2014 Grammys, there were chills, shrieks, applause, standing ovations, shooting stars, and fireworks. Mr. and Mrs. Carter's performance was EVERYTHING.
The Grammys got our hopes up and then ... the rest of the show happened. If it weren't for coffee, we may have fallen asleep halfway through.
During a span of almost FOUR hours, we were taken on a ride that left us aching for Grammys of years past. Where was the energy this year? Where were the big current names?
Instead of jamming to performances from nominees like Justin Timberlake (who was a no-show) and Bruno Mars (maybe he's saving his voice for the Super Bowl), we got duets by Metallica and Lang Lang (we had to look him up), Sara Bareilles and Carole King (my nana's former favorite), and Robin Thicke and Chicago (it was ... weird).
When we got over the fact that we were let down continuously, we collected 10 things worth noting.
1. Pharrell Williams channels Smokey Bear
We hope he wears this hat to the Oscars. In case you missed it, he's nominated for original song for "Happy" from "Despicable Me 2".
2. Taylor Swift head-bangs during the wrong songs
Did taylor swift break her neck? #GRAMMYs— Chris From Paramore (@Chris_Godinez) January 27, 2014
She should have saved it for Metallica's "One" collab with Lang Lang toward the end of the night, rather than doing all that (above) during "All Too Well."
3. Beyonce and Jay Z deserve the award for power couple of the millenium
Beyoncé & Jay Z at the 2014 GRAMMYs tonight. pic.twitter.com/XfqPsP4i0w— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@Bey_Legion) January 27, 2014
No one topped Bey and Jay, although Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar came close. Really, though, who can compete with those two?
4. Madonna wants to piss you off
Because apparently that's what wearing grills (grillz, if you're Nelly) are supposed to do.
5. Lorde makes us feel bad about ourselves
When we were 17, we were submitting college essays and scooping ice cream. So there's that.
6. Robots really are taking over the world
Daft Punk didn't need to talk to clean house at the Grammys -- Pharrell did that for them. The duo took home five awards, including album of the year and record of the year.
7. Mass weddings are really short
In a matter of seconds, 33 couples were married by Queen Latifah during the middle of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis's "Same Love," featuring Mary Lambert. Oh, and Madonna came out wearing cowboy gear at the end. And she sang.
8. Yoko Ono makes 80 seem doable
If this is what 80 years old looks like, we'll take it.
9. Katy Perry may have jinxed her relationship
Katy Perry catches a bouquet...John Mayer now drafting a break up letter #GRAMMYs— tonystarkradio (@tonystarkradio) January 27, 2014
The "Roar" singer caught one of the bouquets after the "Same Love" marriage ceremony. Should John Mayer run in the other direction?
10. Justin Timberlake is M.I.A.
It would've been an epic #Grammys show if Daft Punk removed their helmets to uncover that they're really Justin Timberlake & Jimmy Fallon.— jessica golaszewski (@jessiegola) January 27, 2014
He wasn't on the red carpet, he wasn't in a seat, and he definitely wasn't on stage when Jay Z accepted their award for best rap/sung collab ("Holy Grail"). He doesn't have a scheduled tour date until Feb. 7, so we have to ask, what's the deal, Justin?
11. Rock and rap belong together -- when done right
One of the few collaborations that left us pining for more came from nominees Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar. The pair combined "Radioactive" (Imagine Dragons) and "M.A.A.D City" (Kendrick Lamar) for one of the show's rare, fantastic moments.
About Sound Effects
ContributorsSarah Rodman is a staff music critic for the Boston Globe.
James Reed is a staff music critic for the Boston Globe.
Jonathan Perry is the Globe's Scene & Heard columnist, covering local music.
Michael Brodeur is the assistant arts editor for the Boston Globe, covering pop music, TV, and nightlife.
Julian Benbow is a staff writer at the Boston Globe, covering sports and music.
Katie McLeod is Boston.com's features editor.
Rachel Raczka is a producer for Lifestyle and Arts & Entertainment at Boston.com.
Emily Wright is an Arts & Entertainment producer at Boston.com.