May 18: The latest lyrics

Goodbye So Long

Welcome to our final installment of Pop-Ed on Boston.com. Because we are now officially out of the job we are on the "internets" sprucing up our resume for the job opening as Tom Finneran's co-host on WRKO.

As it stands, our competition is that turkey, loudmouth, Don Imus's coatholder, Bernie McGuirk.

Guys, what qualifications do we have?

Oh no, it's the ghost of Don Imus!

Whoa, I'm the ghost of Don Imus. Oooh .... aren't I scary. I hear you're contemplating a career in radio. Well, let me tell you, the business is dead. You guys have as much chance at getting this job as I do at starring in Lethal Weapon 5 with Al Sharpton.

Well, we got it in the bag because Jake is so eloquent, articulate and well spoken.

We'd like to thank everyone for watching Boston.com on Pop-Ed.

Goodbye So Long

Read the story behind the song:
WRKO to audition Imus's ousted cohort

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May 17: Below Average Highs

BELOW AVERAGE HIGHS
A northeast wind and I’m watching it whip
Through the sycamore trees, 47 degrees
The newspapers warn of the coming storm
Moving in from the sea, 47 degrees

We’re under cloudy skies
And a rising tide
Below average highs
Under cloudy skies

In the middle of May, all the forecasts say
That it ain’t the heat, it’s the humidity
With just a chance of rain, the hysteria fades
No, it ain’t what it seems, it’s the humidity

We’re under cloudy skies
And a rising tide
Below average highs
Under cloudy skies

Read the stories behind the song:
Severe weather hitting parts of Mass., R.I., Conn.
Boston weather

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May 16: She's My Baby

SHE'S MY BABY
Tell everyone you know, she's my baby
She ain’t going nowhere
Tell everyone you know, I don’t mean maybe
She ain’t going nowhere

Nowadays a good woman is hard to find, one that’ll attend to your deepest needs and cares. A woman like that deserves constant surveillance, here and in the ever after.

Tell everyone you know, she’s my baby
She ain’t going nowhere
Tell everyone you know, I don’t mean maybe
She ain’t going nowhere

(SOLO) All right ...
Watch her walk...

Tell everyone you know, she’s my baby
She ain’t going nowhere

Some say I came unglued when I paid 500 thousand dollars $500,000 for one more ever lasting intimate look, but I just can’t look away - no way - not today - not ever. No, Sir, sir, you got to pay...

Tell everyone you know, she’s my baby
She ain’t going nowhere
Tell everyone you know, I don’t mean maybe
She ain’t going nowhere

Read the story behind the song:
Anna Nicole diary: sex, surgery, sadness

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May 15: Hey Louise

Hey Louise

Hey Louise, I thought I’d write you a proper song
Not much of a send-off, but it looks like you're staying on
Hey Louise, who's stretched out on your couch tonight?
Taking the treatment, and a prescription full of lies

We’ve been waiting so long, we've been waiting so
We’ve been waiting so long, don't you know
We’ve been waiting so long, we've been waiting so
We’ve been waiting so long...

Hey Louise, I thought I'd write you a dance song
But the drum machine, it drops the beat when you turn it on
Hey Louise, who signed the diploma on your wall?
In this House of Wax, in this House of Wax...

We’ve been waiting so long, we’ve been waiting so
We’ve been waiting so long, now we know
We’ve been waiting so long, we’ve been waiting so
We’ve been waiting so long ...

Hey Louise, that judge he must’ve known
A thing or three about the '70s Combat Zone
Hey Louise, he was a prince up on the bench
His diagnosis, a suspended sentence ...

We’ve been waiting so long, we’ve been waiting so
We’ve been waiting so long, now we know
We’ve been waiting so long, we’ve been waiting so
We’ve been waiting so long....

Read the story behind the song:
Woman gets suspended sentence for pretending to be a psychologist

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May 14: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

KISS KISS BANG BANG
I wanna take my typewriter and I wanna write, I, I wanna type, I...
I wanna write for the big screen and it'll be a scream, trust me...

Kiss, kiss, bang, bang
It's always the same thing
Kiss, kiss, bang, bang
It's always the same thing

My blockbuster's gonna bust the bank 'cause that's what it takes
I'll give them 300 million reasons to make another remake, for the fans' sake

Kiss, kiss, bang, bang
It's always the same thing
Kiss, kiss, bang, bang
It's always the same thing

Read the story behind the song:
Parker Posey: Not your average indie queen

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May 11: Goodbye, so long

CHORUS
Goodbye, so long
Goodbye, so long

MONOLOGUE
EVAN: Hey, there, welcome to another breathtaking installment of Pop-Ed on Boston.com. We're here at Fast Phil's barbershop where Jake and I no longer get our hair cut.

EVAN: This is Jake Brennan. Jake, there's been a lot of talk on the message boards. You been called everything from a genius to a T-Rex with floppy hair. What is your opinion on this?

JAKE: (nonsensical backward vocal track)

EVAN: Quick follow up follow-up to your hair. Why are you so beautiful. (Mic to hair,
hair says nothing, obviously for comedic effect).

Behind me, we have the Folk Hero Industries team.

EVAN: Please introduce yourself.

COLIN: Colin.

EVAN: Please describe yourself in one word.

COLIN: Pampered

EVAN: You've been described as the Sam Peckinpah of the 617 area code. What is your take on his?

COLIN: Don't believe the hype.

EVAN: When is Jake playing this weekend?

LUKE: (lists some shows)

EVAN: Describe yourself in one word.

LUKE: Cheese (bleeped out for comedic effect)

EVAN: This is Mooch, he's our production manager. What do you have to say for yourself? (walks away before taking the answer.)

EVAN: We'd like to thank everyone for tuning into this week's installment of Pop-Ed. Jake, do you have anything you'd like to say to the people?

CHORUS
Goodbye, so long
Goodbye, so long

EVAN: We'd also like to give a shout out to Tony Blair and remind the
critics, don't hate the player, hate the game.

CHORUS (in British accent)
Goodbye, so long
Goodbye, so long

Read the story behind the song:
Blair parting robs president of an ally

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May 10: Doing wrong is what I do right

DOING WRONG IS WHAT I DO RIGHT

bench warrants, prayer cards, and glass shards
and a lifelong love affair with the orchestral arts
i was there when the rite of spring blew everybody’s mind
because doing wrong is what i do right

i took a ten year sabbatical from juilliard
and my movements were all panned by the critics at large
my nerves are shot and just like wolfgang, my temper's always on the rise
and doing wrong is what i do right

i’ve held balcony seats for eternity in this sacred hall
now a symphony of youth - they’re tryin to ruin it all
tell ben folds that i said, "he oughta take five"
because doing wrong is what i do right

i ain't no good at being good
not like handel, messiah, humperdink and mendelssohn
don’t wanna waste my season tickets on no ben folds jive
because doing wrong is what i do right

Read the story behind the song:
Shoving match disrupts opening night of Boston Pops

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May 9, 2007

MY DUCT TAPE PROM QUEEN
I wanna shake you like you never been shook before
Wanna get you out on the dance floor
I wanna take you where you never been took before
And I'll take you back in my hovercraft

I'm stuck on you, so will you be
My duct tape prom queen?

I wanna be him, the him you been lookin for
Wanna tape you, like you ain't been taped before
We'll get to talking, saying things we've never said
It'll take at least a week to get Journey outta our heads

I'm stuck on you, so will you be?
My duct tape prom queen

I'll come and meet you in a lot by the stadium
In my old man's pickup truck, in my duct tape shirt and cuffs
And they'll play us a duet, they're gonna do it do it do it now
I think I'm stuck on you, I think I'm stuck on you
Here at the Naraguagus prom, I think I'm stuck on you

Yeah, I'm stuck on you, so will you be?
My duct tape prom queen

Read the stories behind the song:

Prom is a wrap for pair garbed in duct tape

Classic prom songs

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May 8, 2007

FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY SIX BILLION REASONS TO...

Four-hundred fifty-six billion dollars more buys a whole lot of war. So what more could we afford?

Thirty big digs, dig a big, another big dig
we can dig our whole lives but we're never gonna find any peace

Free gas, at last free gas, we all want a free ride
but soon enough somebody pays, somebody always pays.

Take a pass, at last we could take a pass
own up and go green because it's the right thing

And from now on - until the end of time
we can pay to expand our minds, expand our minds
don't that blow your mind?

Will we be safe? Will we be free?
On and on - for eternity, for eternity

And we could all take a seat - at the table.
We could eat, but will it buy peace?

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May 7, 2007

21 OVER 22

back in 84 number 21 soared (but now he’s just number 22)
two twenty K games and three Cy Young awards (but now he’s just number 22)
number 21 never bowed to no one
but now he’s the Boss’ boy for 28 million
like jilted lovers we’re licking our wounds
say hey, so long, see you soon 22

a hundred and ninety-two wins for number 21 (but now he’s just number 22)
and just one more win to pass Cy Young (but now he’s just number 22)
was number 21 throwing heat for the fans
or was he really Will McDonough’s “Texas Con Man”
another rocket relaunch or a bomb in the Bronx
say hey, so long, see you soon 22

a first ballot blowhard, a pinstripe diva (whoh-oh-oh 22)
if he can’t carry his bags how’s he gonna carry their season (whoh-oh-oh 22)
number 21, a savior to no one
a nation hangs it’s head after being shunned
another rocket relaunch or a bomb in the Bronx
say hey, so long, see you soon 22

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