Saved by "Santaland"

Sick of sappy, saccharine holiday fare like "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Rudolph"? (Although, you can't deny that claymation elves named Hermey who want to be dentists generally rule.) Ready to drive your car into the nearest snowbank the next time Bing's "White Christmas" warbles over the radio?

Lucky for you, there's a proven cure for holiday malaise. It's called the "Santaland Diaries." The show — based on David Sedaris' hilarious autobiographical account of working at Macy's during the holiday rush — starts at the New Repertory Theatre next Wednesday. Guy Olivieri stars as Crumpet, the disgruntled elf.

Put down the eggnog and stop popping your neighbor's tacky, inflatable lawn snow globes. Hurry to the New Rep instead. You can thank me later.

[We've all been in the holiday fetal position before, trust me.]

And if you can't wait a week, check out Sedaris' original commentary here.