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‘The Vineyard’: Mannequins on the beach

The cast of the Martha’s Vineyard-based reality show includes (above, from left) Katie Tardif, Jackie Lyons, and Gabby Lapointe.
The cast of the Martha’s Vineyard-based reality show includes (above, from left) Katie Tardif, Jackie Lyons, and Gabby Lapointe.PHOTOS BY FRANK SALINAS/ABC Family

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ABC Family has assembled 11 mannequins for “The Vineyard” who are so plastic, so Barbie and Ken, so perfectly put together, that they might as well have come marching off a factory line. They’re all actors — I mean models — I mean real people — who preen and prance in bathing suits, while reducing themselves to types to enact little textbook coming-of-age dramas.

All these beauties work for the Black Dog restaurant and live together, “Real World”-style, in an attractive ocean-side home. Yes, they work, but no worries: They spend plenty of time frolicking and posing on the beach as if they’re in a glossy fashion shoot and drinking as if they’re in a beer commercial.

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