Friday

By Matthew Gilbert, Globe Staff, 9/7/2003

Married to the Kellys | ABC | 8:30 p.m.
Starring | Breckin Meyer, Kiele Sanchez
They Say | A New Yorker moves to Kansas so his wife can be closer to her kooky family.
We Say | It could be a happy goof on the passive-aggressive side of Midwestern manners. But first it must lose the fish-out-of-water cliches that sank Ellen DeGeneres's second sitcom.
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | "Married to the Hayseed Mob"
Grade | B-

Hope and Faith | ABC | 9 p.m.
Starring | Kelly Ripa, Faith Ford
They Say | Faith is a histrionic soap actress, sister Hope is a happy homemaker. Sparks fly.
We Say | It's shrill, and what's with naming Ford's character Hope? But it gives Ripa a nighttime outlet for her extroversion, and the food fight rocks.
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane: The Middle Years"
Grade | C+

Joan of Arcadia | CBS | 8 p.m.
Starring | Joe Mantegna, Mary Steenburgen, Amber Tamblyn
They Say | In this supernatural family drama, God takes human form - a hottie, a lunch-counter lady - to converse with teenager Joan. Meanwhile, her disabled brother fights despair.
We Say | This could be a unique spin on high school angst if it doesn't become "Touched by an Angel."
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | "Breaking the Waves 90210"
Grade | B+

The Handler | CBS | 10 p.m.
Starring | Joe Pantoliano
They Say | Joey Pants heads an FBI team of undercover agents in LA, where they infiltrate prostitution and drug rings.
We Say | Ralphie lives, and he's the Uta Hagen of the Feds. If you liked the "Sopranos" plots where agents turned Pussy and Adriana, this show's for you.
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | "It's a Rush"
Grade | A-

Luis | FOX | 8:30 p.m.
Starring | Luis Guzman
They Say | Guzman spouts nasty ethnic one-liners as the owner of a Spanish Harlem doughnut shop.
We Say | It's an unholy mess of stereotypes. Guzman thinks he's great; we think he grates.
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | Ashamed of myself
Grade | F

Miss Match | NBC | 8 p.m.
Starring | Alicia Silverstone, Ryan O'Neal
They Say | By day, Silverstone's a divorce lawyer. By night, she fixes up singles in the city.
We Say | Darren Star's concept is bland, and the "Ally McBeal" whimsy is dated. But the father-daughter tension between Silverstone and O'Neal could twist things up nicely.
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | "Hello Dolly McBeal"
Grade | C+

All About the Andersons | WB | 9:30 p.m.
Starring | Anthony Anderson, John Amos
They Say | Wannabe actor Anderson and his 8-year-old son move into his folks' garage, where Dad harasses him to join the family's barber business.
We Say | Amos is at home as the feisty elder, but the comedy grinds to a halt for schmaltzy family moments.
If I Were a Movie I'd Be | "Behind the Barbershop"
Grade | C

Also on Friday | A white mom and her teenage son move in with a black family for friendly culture clash in "Like Family." (WB)