Cher turns back time with `Video Hits'

Cher can act and Cher can sing, but if there's one lesson to take away from "The Very Best of Cher: The Video Hits Collection," it's that the hair-flippin,' lip-smackin' diva should not be allowed anywhere behind a camera.

This new collection of videos features four clips directed by Cher. In three of the videos from the 1980s, she casts 22-year-old Rob Camilletti (her then boy toy) as her corporate-rock love interest. Sadly, Camilletti is about as expressive as a doorstop and their three-minute music-backed romances hold all the passion of Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone's love scenes in "King Solomon's Mines." In 1991's "Save Up All Your Tears," the story line is a tad blurrier, but it seems that Cher is trapped in a burning Frederick's of Hollywood, and the only way to escape is to slip on the tawdriest negligees she can find and escape through the dungeonlike basement.

The most captivating moments on "Video Hits" are the landmarks such as "If I Could Turn Back Time," where a fishnet-clad Cher straddles the cannons and prowls the decks of the U.S.S. Libido as a fleet of sailors cheers her on, all the while son Elijah Blue pretends to play the guitar behind her. (Just a typical family outing.) There are also some intriguing rarities, such as the seldom-seen video for "Walking in Memphis" in which Cher walks around dressed up in Elvis drag.

Sadly, there's only one video from the 1970s. It's the amazing "Half Breed" clip. All other video sins are quickly forgiven at the site of Cher in a Bob Mackie feather headdress atop a horse. (Warner, $19.99)