'Queer Eye' spins off with feminine touch
There's something peculiar about watching gays fuss over straight people who are preparing for marriage proposals and military service. "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and its new spinoff, "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl," certainly push the envelope on unacknowledged irony. Yep, gays are certainly coming out of the closet on TV, but usually if they're willing to kneel at hems and deploy self-abnegating wit. Fashion-impaired heterosexuals ask about fabric; perky homosexuals tell them the answers.
Now that "Queer Eye" is a franchise, with "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" premiering tonight at 10 on Bravo, the premise is getting harder to take. Destined to become the "CSI" of cable makeover shows, with "Queer Eye for the Straight-Acting Bi" surely only a blink away, the franchise no longer feels like a quirky little corner of TV so much as a growing pigeonhole. That happy boat of gay wise guys, the Fab Five, is evolving into a fleet of sassy girl Fridays who thrive on performing their boss's personal errands. They're hyper elves in a land where Christmas -- the shopping and buying part, at least -- occurs every day of the week.
"Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" gives us a foursome named the Gal Pals, a phrase that's on the license plate of their merry makeover mobile. Based in Los Angeles, the Pals are painfully cheery mavens who seemingly live only to get their hands on a straight girl and flutter around her like butterflies.
Danny Teeson, a Brit with a shaved head and a shirt unbuttoned down to his belly, is Cuisine and Culture Man. Robbie Laughlin, the requisite hammy blond, is the diva of beauty and fashion. The lower-keyed Damon Pease takes charge of interior design. And introducing the franchise's first lesbian cast member, a health and sexuality know-it-all with the drag-like name Honey Labrador.
The Gal Pals work hard to convey a fabulous chemistry, teasing one another -- "You are right at home with that drill," Robbie quips to Honey; "Stop, ladies!" Honey cracks when the boys bicker -- as if they've been best friends forever. In LA, of course, "forever" can mean "since shooting started." But still, the camaraderie is strained, as is the show's emotional finish, when the Pals congratulate themselves for a job well done. "It's the beginning of her new life," gushes Danny tonight, as the four proud queers watch their slovenly little bird spread her wings and fly.
Nicole, the slovenly bird about to begin her life, is Ms. Grateful throughout the episode. She doesn't break into "To Sir With Love," but she breaks into tears a number of times as she gives up her cut-offs and dirty curtains for a life of Vogue and House Beautiful.The goal of the Gal Pals was to make her "a little more girlie and chickie," as Damon puts it, and "to Sex and the City' this girl up," as Danny puts it. And they seem to have succeeded. Not only does Nicole fluff up her hair for her 30th birthday bash, but she reunites with her former crush, a generic "Mystery Date" kind of dude who looks like he was hired for the part. Perhaps together Ken and New Improved Barbie will march off into the sunset, all thanks to the help of our lovable new cloud of magical fairies.
Matthew Gilbert can be reached at gilbert@globe.com.
