Paula, 'you just look gorgeous up there'

In this cold, heartless, reality-TV-addicted world, where the skeevy backstabbers of "Big Brother" are deemed winners, couldn't we all use some good lovin'? With Simon Cowell shooting verbal spitballs at innocent young 'uns, and snarksters-at-large heaping evil wit upon Sanjaya and his ponyhawk -- the easiest target since Britney's baldyhawk -- isn't it time to embrace Our Lady of Perpetual Praise?

Why not just say yes to the Great "American Idol" Love Bucket, Paula Abdul? Go ahead, bask in the healing waters of Paula County. Feel the warm, cathartic tears that coat her latex cheeks. Let go of your rancor and dream of her reciting an ad hoc mash note to you, and you alone.

Now is the moment for our "Idol" Nation to recognize the yin to the yang that is Simon Cowell, to honor the antidote to modern gladiatorial not-niceness. Maybe I've been watching too much "American Idol" this season, but I'm beginning to see the Abdulight. I'm finding within myself a Paula spirit that's making me feel as rah-rah about her as she, no doubt, would feel about me. And about you, too, cynic.

For years now, Paula has been an embarrassment of riches when it comes to ridicule. What TV watcher hasn't gotten off a few good lines at her expense? When she'd deliver her opinions of "Idol" performances, she put the raving in "rave reviews." But lately Paula has cleaned up her act a little, allowing her hair and her nonsensical assessments to get only so crazy before pulling them back. She has let her slurring slide away. Isn't it time to make her an object of our ceasefire, if only for one week?

Think of Paula this way: She is the kooky but fabulous Auntie we all want, or have. She's the one in our extended family who didn't follow the conventional path, who "lived," who has a whole mess of judgment-free maternal affection and no one of her own to give it to. While your parents and teachers and bosses demand responsibility, Auntie Paula has only support to offer her favorite little nieces and nephews.

Even if you blow it, and get kicked out of school or fired from your job, she'll look you in the eye and say, "You just look gorgeous up there." She'll gladly shower you with her misplaced emotion.

Auntie Paula is the Hollywood version of poet Jenny Joseph's eccentric-in-training in "Warning": "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me." Oh, she takes her fashion knocks, and not just for her purples and reds. Her individualistic taste has hoisted her atop many a Worst Dressed List, and brought out the devil in every Prada-wearing observer with a blog. A random Googling of Paula's fashion sense unearths countless gems about her fluffy disasters and mad hats.

But Auntie still doesn't seem to care what the fashionistas think, as she continues to, as Joseph words it, "spend [her] pension on brandy and summer gloves." And truly, I admire anyone who so shamelessly ignores Mr. Blackwell. Paula throws her everything into her frump-forward fashion sense. In photos from last month's LA Fashion Week, she was all weirdo pirate pants and beaming pride. There's something about her wide smile, her steel-gray boa, and its resemblance to the famous "Seinfeld" Puffy Shirt that makes me want to tell her, "You just look gorgeous up there."

Of course, Simon's "Idol" opinions are more business savvy. He is the intellectual powerhouse of "American Idol," although Randy Jackson, who has expanded his lexicon this season to include the phrase "blew it out of the box" alongside "dawg" and "pitchy," is a close second.

But beyond Simon's smart attitude, don't we all need a little Paula-tude, too? She is the heart that beats beneath the hairy chest that's just a little too exposed; the spirit that dances no matter how bombastic the voice. She is the kindergarten teacher who gives you a gold star just for trying.

And for that, Auntie Paula, here's a round of sincere applause, with our arms stretched out straight but our sharp fingernails carefully bent outward, to avoid bursting any bubbles.

Matthew Gilbert can be reached at gilbert@globe.com. For more on TV, visit boston.com/ae/tv/blog.