Reality bites at MTV

So what has MTV been up to, since its last influential series , "The Osbournes"? Here's a handful of entries on the channel's current list of reality shows. If you've never heard of these unscripted masterpieces, that doesn't mean you're not hip. It means you aren't fascinated by the tedious minutiae of strangers' lives. The exception to MTV's boredom rule: A decent reality version of "Friday Night Lights" called "Two-a-Days," about the stresses of high school football.

MATTHEW GILBERT

"Engaged & Underage"

Oh to be young and on the marriage track. The gals go to the salon and learn to love their mothers-in-law. The guys face down their buddies' warnings about wearing the ball and chain. The viewer wonders if the show is trying to lower the marriage rate.

"Run's House"

There just aren't enough former music stars hamming it up for the reality cameras. For Reverend Run, one-third of Run-DMC, and his family, no event is too mundane or too self-aggrandizing to be shared with the nation.

"Scarred"

Knees pop, bones crunch, and, in one case, a testicle pops out. For those jonesing for more "Jackass" masochism, MTV provides you with a new batch of roller bladers and skateboarders who show and tell the stories behind their scars.

"Taquita & Kaui"

No one can say MTV uses its reality stars then throws them out with the trash. It keeps on using them, usually in "Real World/Road Rules" challenges. This bit of nothingness follows two "Making the Band 3" grads to Las Vegas to pursue their dreams of fame and fortune.

"Living Lahaina"

Duuuude. These five burping, farting, porn-loving, muscle-bound guys teach surfing to tourists in Hawaii -- when they're not busy drinking 12-packs, cruising happy hours, and flipping their cars.