It used to be that the thought of cable access shows garnered visions of shaky cameras, sewer commission meetings, school lunch menus, and that "Wayne's World" skit from "Saturday Night Live." We've always known the shows were there, we just didn't think they were good for much.
But in November, the Hollywood writers' union went on strike, and suddenly, there was a dearth of new material on our favorite commercial stations. So, resourceful couch potatoes that we are, we ventured into the vast world of community television. And lo and behold, we found entertainment.
Thousands of cable access programs are produced in Greater Boston each year. There are news shows, like Boston's "What's up in Trinidad and Tobago?"; how-to shows, like Watertown's "Drawing With Fred"; art review shows, like Cambridge's "Bitchin' About Movies"; and yes, hundreds of hours of droning talk shows that double as insomnia cures.
Here are a few of the local cable access shows that caught our eye. Some are educational, and some are just so silly that we couldn't stop watching. (Most shows are broadcast only in the town where they're created, but you can catch clips of some of them on the Web.)
"Fruit or Breast"
Somerville Cable Access Television (SCAT), Channel 3. Airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. Watch an episode at blip.tv/file/713141 (content is adult-oriented).
If you're the type of person who giggles at the call letters "SCAT," then you'll probably love "Fruit or Breast."
"It's just a great excuse to be silly for 30 minutes," says Adam Azia (below), an advertising salesman who cohosts the talk show/game show with his friend Colleen Bertrand. Each host has a trademark: Bertrand knits throughout each show; Azia usually sports a white, size 40-C brassiere filled with round fruit.
While slightly risqué, the show generally adheres to the few rules of cable access TV. "Both CCTV and SCAT are extremely clear that you're not allowed to promote the violent overthrow of the government," Azia says. "Also, no nudity before 11 p.m., and no cursing."
Azia and Bertrand spend the talk-show half of "Fruit or Breast" chatting with each other and with Azia's father, a dentist, who calls into every show to deliver "The Dental Tip of the Week."
The game show segment is reminiscent of "The $25,000 Pyramid." One contestant tries to deduce a series of secret words based on verbal clues from another contestant. All the words are, of course, related to fruit or breasts.
The show is broadcast in front of an enthusiastic studio audience. "About a month ago a random viewer came in and brought an 11-pound blueberry muffin he had baked for us," Azia says.
"Adventures With Jenny"
Cambridge Community Television (CCTV), Channel 9. Airs every other Tuesday at 7 p.m. The next episode airs March 11. It streams live at cctvcambridge.org
The People's Republic of Cambridge is arguably the most opinionated city on the Eastern Seaboard, so it's not surprising that its cable access network annually broadcasts some 170 regular series and thousands of individual programs on three separate channels (9, 10, and 22).
There's no shortage of intellectual rants and raves on CCTV. But at the end of a long day, we prefer the gentle antics of Jenny the Juggler and her pet lop-eared bunny, Banana. "Gandhi said, 'Be the change you want to see in the world,' " says Jenny, who prefers not to use her last name. "I'm trying to be the change on CCTV."
Jenny, a professional juggler, packs a lot of material into 27 minutes of live TV. Regular features include "Baby Watch," in which she exposes her pregnant belly (she's due in May); "Mamma Minute," in which her mother phones in for a chat (in the last episode they discussed Mom's crush on Daniel Day-Lewis); and "UKE-OKE Serenade," an end-of-show pop song on the ukulele. Banana just sits there next to her, nibbling alfalfa sprouts and field greens.
Jenny also fields phone calls during each show, which is risky because the show is live - and nobody vets the callers ahead of time. In the most recent show, the first caller told her to take off her shirt and asked if he could eat the rabbit. (She hung up on him.) The next caller was nicer: "You are, like, the cutest little thing I've ever seen," he said. "Oh my gawd, this is great television."
"Behind the Pages"
Brookline Access Television, Channel 3 (also airs on cable access stations in Cambridge, Burlington, and Newton). Airs Sundays at 10 a.m. and 8 p.m. Watch it at dianegoshgarian.com/blog/sizzle-reel.
When famous authors are fortunate enough to talk about their work on the air, they usually barely have enough time for a superficial conversation - four minutes on "The Daily Show" here, three minutes on "Good Morning America" there.
That's why we're grateful for "Behind the Pages," a literary talk show that dedicates a full half-hour each week to an in-depth interview with an author promoting a new book. "Viewers get more than a sound bite," says Diane Goshgarian, the show's unassuming host, who works by day as a nurse practitioner.
Interviews have included novelist Russell Banks, "Seinfeld" celebrity John O'Hurley, sports writer Jack Falla, and, most recently, entertainment journalist Martha Frankel - whose new memoir about a gambling addiction, "Hats and Eyeglasses," has received much critical acclaim.
Watching her show "is sort of like participating in a book group without having to leave your house," Goshgarian says.
"Florencia's Kitchen"
Mansfield Cable Access, Channel 9. Air times vary, at the mercy of high school football games and selectman meetings, but the show runs at least once a day.
Florencia Gazzolo always wanted to host a cooking show.
"As a child, when other kids were watching cartoons, I was watching Julia Child, the Frugal Gourmet, and 'Yan Can Cook,' " says Gazzolo, a Mansfield native who has been hosting "Florencia's Kitchen" for four years. "Instead of making mud pies, I'd explain how to make mud pies."
Gazzolo tapes a new show each month in the crowded kitchen of a function hall in Mansfield, where she operates a catering business. Her show is a lot like programs on the Food Network, with a bubbly host and a new theme for each show - Superbowl snacks, Indian cuisine, and so on. Gazzolo stays true to her Mansfield roots by inviting members of the community to share the show with her; in Episode 11, she created a cold beet, caramelized onion, and feta salad with her hairdresser.
"Florencia's Kitchen" doesn't look like typical community TV. This is to say, it looks really good. Gazzolo attributes the technical quality to Jack O'Neill, who directs, produces, and films most of the shows on the station. (At most cable access stations, the hosts are also the producers.) O'Neill has 24 years of TV production experience, and the station has received multiple Telly Awards - the public access equivalent of the Emmys.
An old hand, O'Neill is not surprised by our newfound enthusiasm for the wide world of cable access. "My theory of . . . public access shows," he says, "is that everyone watches them, and most people don't admit it."
