Vampires and cougars, risks and retreads

“Accidentally on Purpose’’ (CBS)

Kooky sitcom

Stars: Jenna Elfman, Grant Show, Jon Foster

The concept: After her boss boyfriend (Show) rejects her, a 30-something movie critic (Elfman) gets pregnant from a one-night stand with a younger guy. She keeps the baby, and the boy toy.

Our take: This is “Knocked Up’’ stuck in a flat sitcom milieu and layered with male older-woman fantasy. It’s predictable, cutesy, and ridden with clichéd age jokes.

Alternate name: “Dharma & Preg’’

Grade: C (Sept. 21)

“Trauma’’ (NBC)

Medical action drama

Stars: Jamey Sheridan, Aimee Garcia

The concept: Helicopters crash! Trucks turn over! A team of rough ’n’ ready San Francisco EMTs face explosive accidents.

Our take: Get ready to feel accosted. This is the loud blockbuster action-movie of the fall premieres. But the flames and wreckage can’t distract from the forgettable ensemble of TV types.

Alternate name: “Traumatized Viewer’’

Grade: C+ (Sept. 28)

“The Jay Leno Show’’ (NBC)

Nightly prime-time talk

Star: Jay Leno

The concept: We’re promised a more lighthearted Leno. Among his first guests: Jerry Seinfeld, Rihanna, Jay-Z, and Kanye West.

Our take: Kudos to NBC for trying something different, but I’m thinking this gamble is doomed. Maybe that’s because I’m not a Leno fan, maybe that’s because the last thing we need is yet another talk-variety show, maybe that’s because I’d resent anything that eliminates room for four scripted shows in one fell swoop.

Alternate name: “Jay-Zzzzz’’

Grade: No preview available (Sept. 14)

“V’’ (ABC)

Alien sci-fi

Stars: Elizabeth Mitchell, Scott Wolf

The concept: Rethinking of the 1980s miniseries about aliens who hover over Earth calling themselves “Visitors.’’ They’re so attractive and friendly! Mitchell is an FBI agent wondering if they’re related to terror groups; Wolf, as a TV reporter, is the aliens’ shill.

Our take: This one’s instantly addictive, and Mitchell shines in her post-“Lost’’ vehicle. “V’’ entertains chillingly while offering up a juicy metaphor about the allure of evil and the misuse of power.

Alternate name: “Wicked Good’’

Grade: A (Nov. 3)

“Melrose Place’’ (The CW)

Nighttime soap

Stars: Michael Rady, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Thomas Calabro

The concept: A remake of the 1990s series, with pretty 20-somethings trying to become adults amid murder, betrayal, and bathing suit action around the apartment pool. Returning old-timers include Michael and Sydney, who has returned from the dead.

Our take: Oh how I expected to despise this. As a mad lover of the original, with its bad acting and absurd plots, I was offended by the very idea. The revamp isn’t a complete bust - it’s soapy enough to engage. But the actors, notably Simpson-Wentz, need to find the camp. Only Rady, as the innocent Andrew Shue type, offers instant distinction.

Alternate name: “Heather Schlocklear’’

Grade: C+ (Sept. 8)

“The Forgotten’’ (ABC)

Missing persons procedural

Stars: Christian Slater, Reiko Aylesworth

The concept: Teaming with TV mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer, Slater plays an amateur detective helping the cops look for missing people. He’s also searching for his lost daughter.

Our take: Slater’s hoping his 2008 flop, “My Own Worst Enemy,’’ will be one of the forgotten. This sounds like “Without a Trace’’ meets “Cold Case,’’ with a dash of “The Mentalist,’’ which may mean it’s treading on worn-out turf. Plus, no pilot available, often a bad sign.

Alternate name: “Christian Resurrection’’

Grade: No preview available (Sept. 22)

“NCIS: Los Angeles’’ (CBS)

Procedural spin off

Stars: LL Cool J, Chris O’Donnell, Linda Hunt

The concept: A spinoff from “JAG,’’ “NCIS’’ now offers up its own offspring, which focuses on undercover surveillance.

Our take: Good enough, for sure, and love the cast. The low-key O’Donnell registers beautifully on the small screen. But is CBS running the risk of overkilling the formula by airing it after “NCIS’’?

Alternate name: “Fran Chise’’

Grade: B (Sept. 22)

“Sherri’’ (Lifetime)

Single mother sitcom

Stars: Sherri Shepherd, Malcolm-Jamal Warner

The concept: “The View’’ cohost plays a version of herself, a working single mother who wants to be an actress. The story begins after she separates from her cheating husband (Warner) and rejoins the dating world with her gal pals.

Our take: From “Suddenly Susan’’ to “Less Than Perfect,’’ Shepherd has been a natural in the punchy laugh-track sitcom environment. Her timing is impeccable. The material here, though, is ridden with clichéd sass, and the casting of Sherri’s friends is generic.

Alternate name: “View to a Nil’’

Grade: C (Oct. 5)

“The Good Wife’’ (CBS)

Legal-political drama

Stars: Julianna Margulies, Chris Noth, Christine Baranski

The concept: A mother of two (Margulies) returns to the workplace as a defense attorney when her politician hubby (Noth) goes to jail after a sex and corruption scandal. Can she hold her own against young hotshots?

Our take: I love Margulies in this role; she’s not a superwoman, but she’s gaining confidence. And I love the idea of exploring the emotional fallout of the “good’’ wives who stand by their husbands during humiliating press conferences. But the crooked gender office politics are too obvious and could turn the drama into an op-ed cartoon.

Alternate name: “Eliza Bethedwards’’

Grade: B (Sept. 22)

“Hank’’ (ABC)

Family sitcom, with laugh track

Stars: Kelsey Grammer, Melinda McGraw

The concept: Grammer tries TV again as a workaholic Wall Street exec who loses his job and moves his family to the Virginia boondocks. Can the CEO get to know his wife and kids? Can the recession teach him a lesson about love?

Our take: After “Fraiser’’ and “Back to You,’’ Grammer plays the fussy big mouth again. Yawn. And it’s hard to see McGraw, so vile and vulnerable as Bobbie Barrett on “Mad Men,’’ in this piffle. It’s “Newhart,’’ and old hat.

Alternate name: “Back to Frasier’’

Grade: C- (Sept. 30)

“The Beautiful Life: TBL’’ (The CW)

Trashy modeling melodrama

Stars: Mischa Barton, Elle Macpherson

The concept: The title is ironic, of course. Teen modeling is ugly and cutthroat. When a pair of young beauties make a splash on the runway, their frenemies in the agency’s model residence pounce.

Our take: Juicy trash alert. This could be “Gossip Girl’’ in a modeling business that eats its young and spits them out. I love it that Barton - the “O.C.’’ star whose breakdown has provided much tabloid promotion - is the has-been It girl. Over the hill at 23! I hope the writers keep the camp amped.

Alternate name: “America’s Next Top Train Wreck’’

Grade: B (Sept. 16)

“Mercy’’ (NBC)

Nurse medical drama

Stars: James Tupper, Michelle Trachtenberg, Taylor Schilling

The concept: The nurses run the show. Back from Iraq, nurse Veronica (Schilling) is smarter than the doctors at her New Jersey hospital. While ruffling feathers at work, she deals with a failing marriage and post-traumatic stress.

Our take: Another hospital drama? Oy. Veronica’s fellow nurses are clichés, and the arrival of the doctor she had an affair with in Iraq (Tupper) pushes everything too close to “Grey’s Anatomy’’ territory.

Alternate name: “Florence Slightingale’’

Grade: C+ (Sept. 23)

“The Middle’’ (ABC)

Quirky family sitcom

Stars: Patricia Heaton, Neil Flynn, Chris Kattan

The concept: The daily trials of a frazzled working mom in the Midwest, her misfit family, and her woeful career as a car saleswoman.

Our take: Like “Malcolm in the Middle’’ and “Little Miss Sunshine,’’ both of which it resembles, this show benefits from a well-chosen cast of family members, particularly the kids. Still, the situations could be more distinctive and Heaton could use fine tuning, as she gives an audience-minded multi-camera performance in a single-camera setting.

Alternate name: “The Heaton’s On’’

Grade: B (Sept. 30)

“Modern Family’’ (ABC)

Multigenerational family sitcom

Stars: Ed O’Neill, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell

The concept: This one is framed as a documentary about three different suburban families - a gay couple who adopt a daughter, a straight couple with three children, and interracial newlyweds with decades between them. It gives us ordinary life as most of us know it - crazy, diverse, politically incorrect, and lovely.

Our take: This series is a pleasure from top to bottom, with a vibrant mix of character comedy and punch lines. Based on the pilot, it’s the fall’s best new sitcom.

Alternate name: “Hedda de Class’’

Grade: A- (Sept. 23)

“Cougar Town’’ (ABC)

Sitcom from “Scrubs’’ creator

Stars: Courteney Cox, Busy Philipps, Christa Miller

The concept: The title refers to the local high school mascot. Oh yeah, and a 40-something divorcee (Cox) trying to reenter the singles world. She’s learning dating lessons a few decades behind schedule.

Our take: I hate this title like I hate the similarly misleading title of “Hung.’’ The show has the potential to be more than a one-joke affair, although Cox hitting on high schoolers is not exactly ha-ha funny. Let’s see how it develops. Love Philipps, a lesser known “Freaks and Geeks’’ alum, as a gal pal.

Alternate name: “Boytox’’

Grade: C+ (Sept. 23)

“Glee’’ (Fox)

Sly high school musical series

Stars: Matthew Morrison, Jessalyn Gilsig, Lea Michele

The concept: A glee club of underdogs deal with high school social traumas.

Our take: It offers a little bit of “Fame,’’ a little bit of “Freaks and Geeks,’’ and a lot of pleasure.

Alternate name: “Freaks and Gleeks’’

Grade: A- (Sept. 9)

“Eastwick’’ (ABC)

Suburban witches fantasy

Stars: Lindsay Price, Rebecca Romijn

The concept: Based on the movie and John Updike novel “The Witches of Eastwick,’’ this dramedy follows three women with magical power and the man who helps them unleash it.

Our take: The whimsy meter goes into the red in this merging of “Desperate Housewives’’ and “Charmed.’’ I could imagine the premise working with a more lurid, action-packed “True Blood’’ approach, but this paean to female empowerment is trite and bland.

Alternate name: “Bothering and Bewildering’’

Grade: C (Sept. 23)

“The Vampire Diaries’’ (The CW)

Teen vampire melodrama

Stars: Paul Wesley, Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder

The concept: Vampire brothers compete over a human girl. Think of “Twilight’’ with a little “Dawson’s Creek’’ thrown in for serial purposes. Like so many vampire products, it’s based on a series of books, this one by L.J. Smith.

Our take: Another vampire story? Yup, and it doesn’t quite distinguish itself in the pilot. The good-brother-bad-brother setup is schematic, and the pilot drowns in the kind of fake atmospheric fog that substitutes for real creepiness.

Alternate name: “One Fang Hill’’

Grade: C+ (Sept. 10)

“FlashForward’’ (ABC)

Science-fiction drama

Stars: Joseph Fiennes, Sonya Walger, Brian O’Byrne

The concept: The world burps for 2 minutes and 17 seconds, and everyone blacks out and envisions themselves on a specific date in the future. A married woman sees herself with a lover, a recovering alcoholic sees himself with a drink.

Our take: An ambitious and intriguing sci-fi premise, which ABC is bringing to us just in time for the last season of “Lost.’’ They’re hoping we’ll segue from one time-warp mystery to another. But will “FlashForward’’ be clever and agile enough to keep us? If not, it could become this season’s “The Nine.’’

Alternate name: “BlowYourmind’’

Grade: A- (Sept. 24)

“Community’’ (NBC)

Back-to-school sitcom

Stars: Joel McHale, Chevy Chase

The concept: McHale, from E!’s “The Soup,’’ is a snide lawyer who attends community college to get the degree he lied about having, and he bonds with a bunch of losers, including the seven-times divorced Chase.

Our take: The pop-culture humor - references to “The Breakfast Club’’! - makes this one a natural for NBC’s Thursday comedy lineup. John Oliver from “The Daily Show’’ ups the humor ante.

Alternate name: “Cutting Class’’

Grade: A- (Sept. 17)

“Brothers’’ (Fox)

Odd-couple sitcom

Stars: Michael Strahan, Daryl “Chill’’ Mitchell, CCH Pounder

The concept: A broke, former NFL star (Strahan) moves in with his parents and paraplegic brother, Chill (Mitchell). Sibling rivalry and barbed insults ensue.

Our take: And ensue, and ensue. Ouch. The writing is painfully bad. The writers make a point of not tiptoeing around disability, but that doesn’t make the tired wheelchair jokes seem witty. I cringed for Pounder, whose work on “The Shield’’ was worlds above this.

Alternate name: “Barbs and Kin’’

Grade: D (Sept. 25)

“White Collar’’ (USA)

Light crime drama

Stars: Matthew Bomer, Tim DeKay, Tiffani Thiessen

The concept: A charming con artist (Bomer) teams with an awkward FBI agent (DeKay) to catch the most elusive of criminals.

Our take: This works, in the amusing crime-dramedy way that keeps “Psych’’ and “Burn Notice’’ afloat. DeKay, the bizarro Jerry himself, is the perfect foil for the absurdly dashing Bomer, and Diahann Carroll is a pleasure as a wealthy bohemian.

Alternate name: “Conned, I’m Sure’’

Grade: B+ (Oct. 23)

No premieres

“Three Rivers’’ (CBS)

Transplant medical drama

Stars: Alex O’Loughlin, Alfre Woodard, Katherine Moennig

The concept: A close-up on the world of organ donors and transplants. The elite team of doctors, including a fiery surgical fellow played by Moennig, work on deadline to save lives while easing their patients’ family conflicts.

Our take: Load those coolers! An entire series on transplants? It’s a pretty specific premise, and you can feel the writers straining for emotionally diverse and ethically challenging material in the first hour. And the doctors are types, although Moennig, far from her role as Shane on “The L Word,’’ has presence. CBS is reshooting, so hope is still alive.

Alternate name: “Organ ick’’

Grade: C (Oct. 4)

“The Cleveland Show’’ (Fox)

“Family Guy’’ spin off

Voices: Mike Henry, Sanaa Lathan, Seth MacFarlane

The concept: Cleveland Brown, Peter Griffin’s soft-spoken buddy on “Family Guy,’’ returns to his Virginia hometown with his teen son. He gets a second chance with his high-school crush.

Our take: If you like MacFarlane’s bawdy suburban absurdism, this one is for you. Bonus: a few meta jokes about white people making shows about black people.

Alternate name: “OH Yeah’’

Grade: B (Sept. 27)

“Bored to Death’’ (HBO)

Faux noir in Brooklyn

Stars: Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson, Zach Galifianakis

The concept: Schwartzman, from “Rushmore’’ and “The Darjeeling Limited,’’ plays a usually stoned and pleasantly deluded Brooklyn writer who becomes obsessed with Raymond Chandler after his girlfriend dumps him. He finds work as a private eye by listing himself on Craigslist.

Our take: I love Schwartzman - he makes me think of the early Dustin Hoffman - although his off-rhythm deadpan is an acquired taste. He is surrounded by louder, funny kooks, including Galifianakis from “The Hangover’’ as his angry best friend and Ted Danson as his pompous mentor.

Alternate name: “Private Lie’’

Grade: A- (Sept. 20)

Matthew Gilbert can be reached at gilbert@globe.com. For more on TV, visit www.boston.com/ae/tv/blog.