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On Bravo, there’s always a moral to the story

Tabatha Coffey scolds owners of floundering hair salons in “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover,’’ in its second season on Bravo. Tabatha Coffey scolds owners of floundering hair salons in “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover,’’ in its second season on Bravo. (Brian Kersey/Bravo
)
By Hank Stuever
The Washington Post / October 31, 2009

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Vicki, Jeana, and the other “Real Housewives of Orange County’’ come back to television Thursday, and life there seems subdued and less sunny these days. Viewers first met the O.C. wives in the spring of 2006, which might as well have been some other American epoch, when aspiration was all and money flowed like a river.

In this season’s opening scene, Vicki attempts an afternoon of quality time with her adult son and daughter, who’ve always treated her like an annoying but reliable ATM, by partaking in one of the oldest tropes of reality television: Let’s all go skydiving!

It’s a rare lapse in original thinking from the folks at Bravo, who have taken “The Real Housewives’’ series from Orange County’s initial recipe through three more fascinating and morally revealing permutations, in New Jersey, New York, and Atlanta.

Back on earth (in this case, the gated Coto de Caza, a master-planned McMansionville and the petri dish for Bravo’s master-planned programming), Jeana sits in her vast home and contemplates her fate with only slightly less dramatic flourish than Norma Desmond. Jeana is a real estate agent who used to sell homes in Coto for $2 million-plus, but her market has dried up and her marriage is over. Her spoiled teenage son, Colton, lectures her about spending.

This is Bravo doing what Bravo does best - imparting, in the slyest and most intuitive of ways, a sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. Somewhere in the network’s saucy reality-series tumult - amid the housewives’ catfights and the sharp-as-knives insults between competing chefs, amid all those narcissistic salon owners and assorted, pouty fashionistas and real estate flippers - the cable network has developed something that can only be described a defined moral center.

People on Bravo, one way or another, always get what’s coming to them.

“Tabatha’s Salon Takeover,’’ which returns for a second season Tuesday night, is another homily preached in the church of Bravo, one that prizes the virtues of skill and craftsmanship (“Project Runway’’ and “Top Chef’’) above all else.

Here, Tabatha Coffey, a 40-year-old Australian stylist with an icy demeanor and a permanent scowl, comes into various American beauty salons to scold the owners and staff for their poor service and pathetic sense of business.

You don’t have to give one whit about the hairstyling business to enjoy the catharsis of watching her chew out bad business owners, and you don’t have to work very hard to see “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover’’ as a convenient stand-in for American rage at Wall Street, the service industry and the general malaise of the workplace. The salons stand in for AIG and GM; Tabatha stands for reform.

In Tuesday’s episode, she confronts Eddie Choi, whose once-trendy Chicago salon, Orbit, has gone down the tubes. After 20 years of business, he’s $750,000 in debt and Tabatha makes him literally pour a bottle of his expensive shampoo overstock down the sink, while his inept staff stands by and gently weeps. “This is what you’re doing,’’ Tabatha barks. “You are pouring money down the drain.’’

“Our viewers want answers,’’ says Andy Cohen, the 41-year-old executive producer at Bravo who has gradually become one of the network’s on-camera stars and its voice of reason. “They never just watch. They are deeply engaged in what happens on [the shows]. . . . It’s like we’re putting pop culture and society on trial. They want to know why someone did what they did, what else was said. They want people to account for what they’ve done.’’

Cohen has played a key role in shaping Bravo’s vision of a conflicted world. In 2003, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’’ sparked what would become the network’s way of combining aspirational “lifestyle’’ programming (paint your living room, clean up your wardrobe) with shows that would venture provocatively into the everyday drama of life.

Without ever once seeming like a self-help network, Bravo allows its viewers to confront the biggies in life, all of which transcend class, race, and gender: parenting (good and bad), relationships, moral relativism, consumerism, values, and a creeping sense of soullessness in the modern world.

In his own weekly talk show, “Watch What Happens Live,’’ Cohen invites the subjects of Bravo’s reality shows to sit with him and explain themselves and their actions. Before “Watch What Happens’’ debuted last summer, Cohen had been blogging about the network’s shows and “characters’’ and dilemmas. The success of “Project Runway’’ and “Top Chef’’ more or less demanded a conclusive “reunion show’’ in which participants would confront one another at season’s end, and answer viewers’ most urgent questions, which almost always begin with a “Why did you. . . ?’’ and “How did you feel when. . . ?’’ Cohen, an effervescent interlocutor, acted as moderator. Now he is also bartender, party host, prosecutor, ombudsman, and therapist.

Bravo seems to believe in people. Like any reality-TV machine, it brutally edits them into certain narrative stereotypes, but what it doesn’t do is edit them into “issues.’’ It focuses first on characters and story and then considers the solution or conclusion.

Sometimes there isn’t one. Bravo asks its very engaged audiences to decide right from wrong, to judge the sinner apart from the sin, and to do unto others as if the camera is always watching you.

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