RuPaul’s Drag U 9 p.m., Logo
This is just too perfect. Tonight’s guest judge is María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Gutiérrez de los Perales Santa Ana Romanguera y de la Hinojosa Rasten. Of course, you know her simply as Charo, one of the draggiest drag queens of all time. Cuchi-chuchi, y’all. Pictured: RuPaul.
Weeds 10 p.m., Showtime
Why do I watch this show? I can’t tell you. It has gotten stupider and stupider over the years. Mary-Louise Parker’s Nancy (pictured) makes less sense than ever, and she and her motivations were a little nonsensical from the get-go. Do you have those shows, the ones you still watch even though they’ve hit the skids?
The Closer 9 p.m., TNT
Abbott Flynn and Costello Provenza.
The A-List: New York 10 p.m., Logo
“The Housewives of Repulsive City.’’
Alphas 10 p.m., Syfy
The ones hoarding all the squeaky toys.
The Bachelorette 8 p.m., Channel 5
Jumping into a waterfall, to meet the bathing-suit clause in their contracts.