Madonna on Oprah

Or Oprah on Madonna. We'll have to see. In the thick of the Malawian Adoption Affair, Madonna will make her first public statements on the Oprah Winfrey show on Wednesday. So much for wanting privacy.

As for how she'll be treated, it depends on which version of Oprah we get: the James-Frey-bashing Arbiter of National Ethics or the celebrity interviewer who, like Madonna and her daughter, loves to shop.