The Crying Game
Last night, I dreamed I saw The Crying Girl. Her pigtails were long and flaxen, her braces were glistening in the sun, and her tears were like streams of pure mountain water. Her face was twisted in pleasure so intense that it was painful, but not painful either, and her cries were heard all through the ages, from the days of the Salem Witch Trials to the 1960s British rock 'n' roll invasion that so thoroughly captured America's teens.
You know, the invasion that was celebrated last week on "American Idol."
In the dream, the 13-year-old Crying Girl was signing autographs, while a mob of reporters shouted questions at her. "How old are you?" "Do you represent a demographic?" "Do you think most teenage girls can feel such profound joy?" "And by the way, what is the meaning of your Andy Warhol T-Shirt?" But the ecstatic Crying Girl didn't have time to talk; she was on her way to "Today," and "Access Hollywood," in anticipation of this week's "Idol" guest star, teen-girl fave Gwen Stefani.
Through her Fox spokespeople, though, she did make a statement. "Those rumors that teenage girls are turning away from 'American Idol' published two weeks ago in the Philadelphia Inquirer? SO TOTALLY FALSE!"
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