Press-Packet Mania (first in a series)

One of the first things I learned, when I started to cover TV, is that network publicity departments have a lot of money. Some of it, they spend on biannual cocktail parties with TV reporters. Some of it, they spend on promotional materials. Some of it, they spend on postage. In recent months alone, I've gotten pillows, t-shirts, chocolate, Christmas tree decorations, fancy octagonal boxes and light-up dioramas. But the current prize for Most Over-The-Top Press Packet goes to the USA Network, for its promotion of the Debra Messing miniseries "Starter Wife." (Obligatory nod to USA: it starts May 31 at 9 p.m.)

Late last week, they sent me a pink-and-black faux garment bag filled with little plastic compartments. Each contained another thematically-linked goodie: pink nail polish, citrus sour breath mints, chewing gum, headache medicine, lip gloss, nighttime anti-puff eye cream, bronzer, mint spray, teeth-whitening touch-up, and three pairs of pink lace underpants that I'd like to think are way too big for me. It's product placement heaven (though I decline to help), and probably the best thing that ever happened to the delivery industry. Most of it I'll give away, as I generally do. But if you come into my office at the Globe, I can guarantee you that, for the next week or so, I'll have fresh lemony breath.