Circus of the Stars

Here's the thing: I like the circus. Especially the death-defying acts. I'm glad that parenthood gives me a good excuse to watch trapeze artists once or twice a year. So I was inclined to be at least mildly entertained by last night's too-long premiere of NBC's "Celebrity Circus," despite:

a) The ultra-cheesiness of Joey Fatone. I've never seen anyone work so hard to be Regis.

b) The fact that the judges acted like the "Dancing With the Stars" panel on amphetamines. (Note to Amelia Catz: I do not want to see your leg. Note to Louie Spence: I do not want to know that you are in love.)

c) The fact that I had to consult Google to remember who some of these "celebrities" are.

I'm not a great judge of circus technique, since I'm pretty much impressed with everything: You're spinning on a rope 50 feet up in the air? That's a nine for you, baby! So I'm a little insulted on behalf of Blu Cantrell, who seemed to do fine for someone who hasn't been a circus performer all her life. (If it were me, I would have puked.) And while I agree that Antonio Sabato Jr. was probably the best performer, he's a ringer! He's got circus in his blood. And what else does he have to do besides practice the silk ropes? OK, that probably goes for all of the contestants.