Jon and Kate and the Public Eye

Last night's season premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was the most fascinating episode I've ever seen -- due, sadly, to the continued tabloid frenzy over the couple's marital problems. (If you haven't been keeping track, here's a brief summary.) But it was also hard to watch, like peering into a stranger's living room when you haven't been invited.

That's the trouble for Jon and Kate Gosselin: They did invite me in, along with millions of other viewers, when they agreed to be the subject of a TLC docu-reality series. And they capitalized on the publicity; as Jon explained last night, they turned their lives into a business, complete with lucrative book deals and speaking engagements. And of course, the cameras fundamentally changed everything, from their working arrangements to their family dynamics. How could the Gosselins have expected otherwise?

Thus, a show that began as safe and not-terribly-interesting voyeurism -- a glimpse into the logistical challenges of having eight small kids -- has become a cautionary tale about the nature of publicity and the dangers of letting cameras into your life. And I'm impressed, in a sense, with the couple's honesty. Sitting separately on that familiar couch, they admitted how much had gone wrong. (That's one thing that, despite its fundamental boringness, has always been appealing about this show: Jon and Kate have never pretended to be perfect, as parents or as people.) Even the perfunctory scenes from the sextuplets' fifth birthday party were tinged with tension and sadness, as Kate rushed around in an organizing frenzy and Jon showed up late and disengaged.

She's angry and he's sad -- and of the two of them, he seems the most regretful that they went down this path in the first place. He realizes that his kids will watch this someday, and he'll have to answer for everything. I wonder if the Duggars, or the "Real Housewives" women, or any other "real" family with kids and a TV show is having similar regrets.

So who's to blame? TLC, for putting so many real lives on TV? The Gosselins, for agreeing to the cameras in the first place? The public, for watching and wondering? Did you watch, and did you feel as icky as I did afterward?