Tina Fey and Amy Poehler anchored the 71st Golden Globe Awards on Sunday night, and the show's flaws and flubs left us wanting more. From some stinging opening lines by the hosting duo to a teleprompter misdirection and a Louboutin fling, here are the 15 best moments from the 2014 awards show as they unfolded.
1. Tina and Amy take jab at Globe-absent George Clooney
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler split last year, but Tina Fey and Amy Poehler don't think he'll be dating a woman his own age any time soon. The pair jabbed at Clooney's rep for dating younger women by summarizing "Gravity" as the "story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age," and we died laughing. Watch their opener (included in our second top moment) below.
2. Tina called out futuristic Joaquin Phoenix in monologue
"Her" star Joaquin Phoenix is no stranger to, well, strange headlines, and Tina Fey wasn't afraid to poke fun at the actor in the monologue. Fey said "Her" "takes place in the not-so-distant future, which is perfect because so does Joaquin Phoenix." For a live, non-embellished opener, Tina and Amy killed it.
3. Jacqueline Bisset cried, then swore, then said "go to hell" during acceptance speech
Before the music cut her off, or attempted to (she talked over it for a solid 30 seconds), "Dancing on the Edge" actress Jacqueline Bisset stared blankly into space while crying, swore (think S-word), quoted her mother who always said "go to hell and don't come back," and surely gained a lot of fans during her acceptance speech for her win for best supporting actress in a TV series, miniseries or made for TV movie.
"Scrubs" star Zach Braff ripped on her moment after the show.
Jacqueline Bisset is still giving her speech to the buffet.— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 13, 2014
4. Matt Damon forgot his glasses before presenting
Only a consummate professional could walk on stage at the Golden Globes to present one of the nominees for best motion picture drama without the ability to read a teleprompter and still manage to nail it. Cambridge's own Matt Damon walked on stage, realized he forgot his glasses, acknowledged it and then got on with it, presenting "Captain Phillips" and the "truly remarkable performance" from Tom Hanks.
How'd ya like those apples?
5. 'Breaking Bad' wins best TV drama, Aaron Paul channels Jesse Pinkman
"Breaking Bad" cleaned up. We weren't surprised when Bryan Cranston took home the award for best actor in a TV drama, or when the show won for best TV drama, and we weren't surprised when Jesse Pinkman made an appearance on stage via Aaron Paul. The actor channeled his character when accepting the award on behalf of the show with a short and sweet: "Yeah, bitch. Thank you." No, thank you, Aaron.
6. Margot Robbie and Jonah Hill get wrong teleprompter script
You'd think Margot Robbie and Jonah Hill would be able to wing it when they got up to present their film, "The Wolf of Wall Street" (nominated for best motion picture comedy or musical), but the duo froze when they were berthed with an errant teleprompter script. We understood Robbie's rookie moment, but we were surprised at how flummoxed Hill appeared. The producers remedied the situation after a few laughs, and the show went on.
7. Jared Leto dishes on his non-prosthetic bubble butt, body waxing during speech
"Dallas Buyers Club" actor Jared Leto left little to the imagination when he described his fully waxed body during his acceptance speech for best supporting actor in a motion picture. "I'd like to use this opportunity to clear up a few things," Leto said. "I did not ever use any prosthetics in this film. That tiny little Brazilian bubble butt was all mine." And then every girl who once loved Jordan Catalano ("My So-Called Life") fainted.
8. Jim Carrey pokes fun at Shia LaBeouf before presenting nominee
Shia LaBeouf "retired from public life" last week after a plagiarizing scandal, and Jim Carrey (or the Globes writers) decided it was worth recognizing. Carrey's jab went something like, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard. I believe it was Shia Lebouf who said that. So young, so wise." Zing. Carrey was presenting best motion picture comedy or drama nominee "American Hustle," which won the category.
9. Emma Thompson threw all caution to the wind while presenting
Who needs shoes at awards shows? Not Emma Thompson. The "Saving Mr. Banks" actress walked on stage with a martini in her left hand and a pair of Christian Louboutins in the other. She showed the camera and her peers the infamous red bottoms and told everyone that was her blood on the bottom. Ouch. She eventually threw the shoes behind her and handed the martini to Miss Golden Globe before presenting Spike Jonze with the award for best screenplay ("Her"). We hope she isn't still barefoot.
10. Host wins Golden Globe, proves even hosts get nervous
Amy Poehler proved that no matter how much you rehearse as a host, there's no preparing for a win. The "Parks and Recreation" star took home the award for best actress in a TV comedy and rambled adorably, noting how nervous she was because she never wins. You can't use that excuse anymore, Amy.
11. Diane Keaton accepted the Cecil B. DeMille award on behalf of Woody Allen
Emma Stone presented the Cecil B. DeMille award honoring Woody Allen, and after a montage of Allen's catalog of work, his friend and "Annie Hall" star Diane Keaton accepted the award for him. She finished her tribute to her absent friend by singing "Make New Friends," which was creepy and beautiful at the same time.
Not everyone was happy with the award, though. Allen's estranged son Ronan Farrow (who's rumored to be Frank Sinatra's son) tweeted a biting response to the award moments after it was presented.
Missed the Woody Allen tribute - did they put the part where a woman publicly confirmed he molested her at age 7 before or after Annie Hall?— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) January 13, 2014
12. Alfonso Cuarón tells herpes tale during best director acceptance speech
Alfonso Cuarón took home the award for best director for his space epic, "Gravity," starring Sandra Bullock, cracking us up when he recalled mistakenly telling Bullock he was going to give her herpes, when he meant to say he was going to give her an earpiece. We wish we had been in the room for it the first time it happened.
13. Leonardo DiCaprio gets a "warm" welcome from Tina and Amy
Leonardo DiCaprio had a big night. He won the award for best actor in a motion picture comedy or musical and was the subject of one of Tina Fey's most jaw-droppingly memorable jokes of the night. Before presenting the award for best actress in a motion picture comedy or musical (this went to Amy Adams for "American Hustle"), Fey suggested, "Like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio." DiCaprio, who's dated some of the world's biggest supermodels (from Gisele Bundchen to Bar Refaeli), played it off and gave the host a thumbs up when he got to the mic. We aren't sure if it was a technical glitch, or if the network tried to sensor Fey at the last minute, but our screen went completely black after she said "vagina."
14. McConaughey's acceptance speech full of golden one-liners
Matthew McConaughey's first Golden Globe nomination turned into a Golden Globe win for his role in "Dallas Buyers Club." The actor filled his acceptance speech for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama with one-liners that we're going to try to work into our vernacular this week.
McConaughey's mom: "Don't watch someone on TV do it, go out and do it for yourself." Wisdom at the #goldenglobes.— Emily Wright (@MissEmilyWright) January 13, 2014
McConaughey: This film was never about dying, it was always about living. With that I say: "Just keep." #goldenglobes— Emily Wright (@MissEmilyWright) January 13, 2014
Our favorite moment from his speech, though, was when he opened it with "All right, all right, all right," a la "Dazed and Confused."
15. Steve McQueen thanked wife Bianca for finding book that inspired "12 Years"
"12 Years a Slave" had a lot of momentum going into Sunday night's show, but the film took home just one major award: best motion picture drama. When director Steve McQueen stepped up to the microphone to accept the award, he made a major point of thanking his wife Bianca for discovering the book "12 Years a Slave." Without Bianca, there may not have been a movie, so we're pretty sure The Hollywood Foreign Press should be thanking her, too.
What were your favorite moments from this year's Golden Globe's ceremony? Any surprises? Snubs? What did you think of Poehler and Fey as hosts? Do share in the comments.
About Viewer Discretion
ContributorsKatie McLeod is Boston.com's features editor.
Rachel Raczka is a producer for Lifestyle and Arts & Entertainment at Boston.com.
Emily Wright is an Arts & Entertainment producer at Boston.com.
Sarah Rodman is a TV and music critic for the Boston Globe.
Meghan Colloton is a Things to Do and Arts & Entertainment producer at Boston.com.
Michael Brodeur is the assistant arts editor for the Boston Globe, covering pop music, TV, and nightlife.