Late night on Animal Planet?
WHEN JOHNNY CARSON was host of "The Tonight Show," he frequently brought on zoologist Jim Fowler or Joan Embery of the San Diego Zoo to delight viewers with the wonders of the animal kingdom. Feathered, furry, or scaly, the creatures in question would perch on Carson's head, latch onto his neck, and, every so often, relieve themselves at inopportune times.
Unscripted animal antics may turn out to be the only way to fill airtime this week, as Carson's talk-show successors return to the air - with or without their writers.
The nation's television and movie writers are deep into the second month of a strike against producers. The issues at stake are serious: How should writers be paid in the Internet era? Regardless of the cause of the work stoppage, though, the burden falls first upon programs such as "The Tonight Show" and Jon Stewart's "Daily Show," which have become part of the political ecosystem but are out of commission at a crucial time in the presidential campaign.
David Letterman's production company has been in negotiations for a separate deal with its own writers, but that effort might not bear fruit before his show's scheduled return on Wednesday night. No writers, technically speaking, means no monologues, no skits, nothing but ad-lib banter between hosts and their guests.
Even the guests may be hard to come by. The Wall Street Journal reported last week that talk-show producers are having trouble booking actors - few of whom want to cross picket lines - and are looking, as a last resort, to man-on-the-street interviews and clips from YouTube. Whether viewers need Conan O'Brien to interpret that "Best Wedding Dance . . . Ever?" video for them is another issue entirely.
Writerless shows could end up feeling like a bad cocktail party, where the awkwardness of the occasion becomes a downer for all. If nothing else, the hosts' on-screen excruciations will lay bare just how much love and labor go into making a talk show seem light and carefree - and how much both sides will benefit by settling the strike. There are only so many pythons, mountain lion cubs, and hyperactive monkeys to go around. 