WHILE I was in the shower, I decided, on a whim, to perform an experiment based on an image I had seen the previous evening on a television news program. I went ahead, anxious but somewhat prepared, to see whether water-boarding is really so bad - that is, to answer the question: Is it torture? In less than five seconds, I succumbed, gasping and choking. I'd have confessed anything, renounced my mother, betrayed my entire family, to make an interrogator stop.
You too can determine whether water-boarding is torture based on empirical evidence. Just follow these simple steps:
1. Hop into a nice warm shower.
2. Soak a washcloth with warm water.
3. Place the washcloth over your face, fully covering your mouth and nose.
4. Lean your head back under the warm spray and enjoy.
5. Sooner or later (sooner in my case), you'll have to breathe.
6. Note the time between taking a breath to removing the washcloth.
7. Evaluate.
Congratulations! You are now qualified to answer the question that has been dogging the White House, the attorney general, the CIA, Congress, and the nation. Use your knowledge well.
MICHAEL GARNEAU
Randolph
