Family fusion: Generation gap shrinks

Nickelodeon, the network that markets brilliantly to kids in part by studying them closely, offers a fresher, sunnier take on the parent-child bond with a study that says the generation gap is closing.

It’s an idea that upends some old notions of family dynamics, and declares a permanent end to that “Mad Men’’ model of ignoring the kids until they grow up and into therapy. Nickelodeon surveyed parents, children, and grandparents online last summer, conducted in-depth home visits, and discovered that, across demographics, parents want to hang out with their kids, and kids want to hang out with their parents.

Unsurprisingly, they channel a lot of togetherness through the media: 82 percent of families watch TV together every week and 41 percent listen to music together. We’re nearing the official end of “turn that racket down.’’

Researchers say the new order stems partly from the economic crisis, which has turned more families into homebodies, and partly from increased comfort with technology. (My grandparents considered it a point of personal pride that they couldn’t figure out their VCRs; today, parents and grandparents download music with kids.) And gadgets have a way of bringing people together, sometimes in deliciously nonlinear ways. Nickelodeon’s research vice president, Jane Gould, tells of one father who plays an online video game with his son: he logs on during lunch hour to try to beat his son’s score from the night before. Then when his son gets home from school, he tries to beat his father’s score from lunchtime.

Following those trends - and also helping to create them - TV and movie producers increasingly program for nostalgia and broad appeal. Shows like “SpongeBob SquarePants’’ and “American Idol’’ are cross-generational glue, and their power extends beyond the screen.

Longer ago than I’d like to admit, I went to a proto-date at a Yes concert while somebody’s mother waited outside in the car. Now, families go together to the “Idols Live’’ tour; in my row at the TD Garden this summer, a mother tweeted about the show on her BlackBerry while her kids squealed over geek-heartthrob Anoop Desai.

What’s most cheering about this mixed-media trend is the fact that it goes both ways; it’s not just that parents now enjoy kids’ fare, but that children can appreciate their parents’ old faves. “Rock Band’’ has introduced a generation of young kids to classic rock, and now the Beatles. Frankie Valli may be a boomer artifact, but not to young fans of “Jersey Boys.’’ YouTube makes the possibilities even more intriguing. Will our kids be able to appreciate the Muppets singing “Bohemian Rhapsody,’’ or Jimmy Fallon doing Neil Young doing the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air’’ theme song?

Of course, the rise of the down-with-it parent also dovetails with the ugly excesses of hipster parenting: the cult of the stoner dad; the rise of outfits like the “Hot Moms Club,’’ which aims to “redefine’’ motherhood as an excuse for getting yet another manicure. If there’s anything that could distance you from your kids, decades ago or now, it’s unchecked self-absorption. And if there’s anything that makes you look lame as a parent, it’s trying too hard to act like one of the cool kids. Witness Ty Burrell’s character on ABC’s “Modern Family,’’ who recreates “High School Musical’’ dance numbers in his living room and takes pride in knowing that “WTF’’ means “Why the face?’’

It’s great that parents have entered their kids’ worlds, but it’s worth wondering how far they should step in - how much it is or isn’t a violation when you’re friended by your mom. Gould says teens still do risky things, even though they’re now more likely to consult their parents first. She cautions that children still need space, and parents need to know when to give it. There’s room in the helicopter for everyone, until the kids are ready to take off.

Joanna Weiss can be reached at weiss@globe.com.