SINCE A top subject on the American female mind this week is “Eclipse,’’ the latest installment of the “Twilight’’ movie series, I’ll get this out of the way: I’m resoundingly Team Jacob. I get the Edward-the-vampire thing, but choosing the werewolf is easy: Hot over cold. Alive over undead.
How I feel about the “Twilight’’ phenomenon itself is decidedly more complex.
It’s little secret why the books and movies — the tale of dour human Bella and her dueling monster suitors — have proven so irresistible, both to teen and pre-teen girls and to the many older women who own box sets. As a fantasy, “Twilight’’ is tailor-made for teenage hormones, anticipated or remembered. How many girls have dreamed of a supernaturally-sensitive boy like Edward, who likes to lounge in fields of wildflowers and say things like “you give me everything just by breathing’’? (I’m not much for sappy stuff, myself, another reason I favor Jacob. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Werewolf Boy so seldom wears a shirt.)
You can’t possibly hate something this pulpy and — in the movies at least — so willing to poke fun at itself. And you can’t dismiss the series’ role as an antidote to the oversexed culture of old-school MTV. “Twilight’’ sprang from the mind of a Mormon writer, and it’s a gilded argument against premarital sex, which is partly why various branches of Planned Parenthood have been using it as a tool.
At the Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts, “Twilight’’ is a common topic in parent-training workshops, where it’s touted as a way to start household conversations about everything from sex and abstinence to relationships, healthy and otherwise, says Amy Cody, manager of parent education.
And it’s easy to wonder what a generation of girls is thinking, since those relationships get sicker as the books and movies pile on. The first installment worked as brilliant allegory, a daydream about an awkward high school girl and the brooding, beautiful, damaged boy who rescues her from a mundane life. By the time we reach “Eclipse,’’ though, Bella doesn’t need protection from the indignities of high school. She just needs protection from vampires.
And from boys, presented as dangerous, ravenous creatures who have to constantly restrain themselves, lest they suck your life away or maim you with an unplanned blow. A mere girl — even a girl who’s partial to jeans and pick-up trucks — is at the mercy of their self-control.
In this world, having a boyfriend is a lot like having a Rottweiler, and sometimes the comparison is almost literal; my favorite scene in the movie might be when Bella reaches up to Jacob-as-wolf and scratches him between the ears.
But it’s also like having a creepy obsessive stalker who claims to be doing everything for your own good. Edward and Jacob keep tabs on Bella’s whereabouts while they negotiate for her safety and her heart. Bella, who needs their protection, allows them to literally carry her around.
Teens internalize this in different ways, says Jennifer Morton, an outreach coordinator at Des Moines-based Planned Parenthood of the Heartland. Some kids think it’s creepy when Edward sneaks into Bella’s bedroom to look over her as she sleeps. Some think it’s romantic.
That’s where “Twilight’’ is most distressing, if taken wrong: It’s a throwback to the fairy tales before
Yes, like Elizabeth, Bella gets to choose her man — and chooses vampire, go figure — but she’s under great pressure to decide too fast. Edward is forever 17, and Bella doesn’t want to get much older, to upset the delicate teen-hormone balance that she views as equality.
But, oh, how a little age and maturity would improve her footing among these teenage monsters. And no wonder married women have taken to this series: They can make their pretend choices with hindsight and clear eyes. Come back to these boys when you’re a cougar, Bella, with claws and teeth of your own, and we’ll talk.
Joanna Weiss can be reached at weiss@globe.com. 
