Losing It
Should the state welcome casinos? Bruce, a recovering gambling addict who was given anonymity, has an answer that may surprise you.
What was your game?
I played everything. A little bit of blackjack. A lot of craps. But I loved the horses and high-stakes poker.
How much did you blow through in your worst poker nightmare?
Probably between $100,000 and $200,000.
How did this happen?
You have to keep gambling high stakes to feel the rush. After 20 years of gambling, higher stakes becomes whatever you can get. At some point I crossed the line between what money was mine and taking money to feed my addiction. [Bruce served 14 months in prison for mail fraud and embezzlement.]
You moved into a casino, right?
It was in 2000. My wife filed for divorce, so the justification in my head is I could go buy a condo or I could save the money and accumulate all these wampum points at Foxwoods and just move into Foxwoods. The more money you gamble, the faster you accumulate the points. And you can convert them into rooms. Food [at] any of the restaurants. There were times, at Christmas, I never had the money, so I would use wampum points to buy presents.
Didn't Foxwoods people see you falling apart and try to help?
Good one. What my MO was, leave early in the morning, go to work, leave work and drive an hour and a half back to the casino and start gambling. Sometimes at midnight or 2 or 3 o'clock, I'm exhausted at the table. I'm falling asleep, and the dealer's nudging me to put a bet in the circle. [But] I'm not blaming the casinos for what my problem was. I take full responsibility.
How did you get help?
By 2004, I had been indicted and was waiting for sentencing and still couldn't stop. By March 12, my birthday, I gambled with a friend who had cashed in his retirement to try and help me. I ended up losing a whole bunch more money, hit bottom, and got into a treatment center. I spent a little over 30 days there.
So I assume you're against casinos opening?
I'm not for or against them. Ultimately, I want to make sure that the 6 or 8 percent that's going to have a problem get the help they need. That means having a watchdog group inside looking to spot those people who have problems. Also, to have money from casinos set aside for recovery programs.
You've been clean since that terrible birthday in 2004. But do you miss it at all?
My addiction misses it. Personally, coming up on four years away is fantastic. I've got this great girl in my life, and my mother and father, even my children, they have forgiven me in so many ways. But the addict in me is so nostalgic. Part of being an addict is saying, "I wish I could gamble in safety." But I know I can't.
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