Love Without Bounds

Animal lovers flocked to our July 13 pets issue and shared their tales of rescues, love, and loss. Then readers objected strongly to Miss Conduct's assertion that breast milk not be left unwrapped in the office fridge.

I have experience treating two pets and never considered the costs ("How Far Should We Go to Save Our Pets?" July 13). Daisy was diagnosed with breast cancer and Benjamin with a growth half the size of his body. "Why, they are only animals - put them to sleep" is the most common statement from those I have spoken with. How can you put a dollar value on a creature that gives unconditional love and affection and has a deep desire for life?
ROBERT F. STANLEY
Arlington

My husband and I had a greyhound who was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor on her side, unfortunately at about the same time that my husband was being treated for stage four melanoma, as well as lymphoma. The dog's surgery for the tumor happened not long before my husband's last horrible melanoma surgery. The dog's tumor showed up again not long after my husband died, and the dog was operated on again. After the surgery, the vet told me a third operation was necessary. I said I had no intention of subjecting the poor dog to further surgery (after consulting some greyhound rescue people, who said that would be their choice also). Three separate veterinary practices tried to persuade me to have the dog operated on. I am still enraged at how hard it was to have support for my decision.
I know there are animals who are abandoned because irresponsible people are unwilling to provide needed and reasonable care, but something has gone terribly wrong if the presumption develops that we owe our animals expensive care under all circumstances.
PATRICIA H. GROSS
Arlington

Vicki Constantine Croke has done a masterful job with a difficult topic. She provided a balanced and rational discussion of an area that some find silly and many, many others consider dear to their hearts.
DEBORAH KOCHEVAR
Dean, Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University
North Grafton

Boswell's story brought tears to my eyes, for I've been in this difficult situation myself many times. I am often met with disbelief when revealing how much money I've spent in vet bills while trying to cure one of my hamsters of chronic mites. People wonder, "Why not just get another hamster?" They don't understand the bond.
AMY HALE
Lowell

Being an animal lover, I enjoyed the entire pets issue. I was sorry, however, that no mention of the ethics of responsibility for human life was evident. When there are so many children with no healthcare, there should be a threshhold above which the cost of pet care becomes moral issue. It is very difficult for me to justify thousands of dollars of veterinarian bills for an older or terminally ill pet's few more months or years, when there may be children in the community that don't have basic immunizations, dental care, or health insurance.
BETH ADDISON
Portland, Maine

Croke's story is particularly touching because my 11-year-old cat, Alfie, was diagnosed with diabetes recently and I've been trying all kinds of medications on him. He is also having trouble walking and just had an X-ray that shows calcification on the last two vertebrae from arthritis. Alfie is going to a neurologist, who will consult with an orthopedic surgeon to determine what to do about his spine. I imagine it will cost a tidy sum, far more than I would like, but his health and happiness are paramount to me. After all, in addition to the joy animals give us, we tend to live seven years longer when we have pets in our lives.
MAUREEN SOLOMON
Toluca Lake, California

GOING HOME
Thank you for your pets issue. The diversity of topics that you covered highlighted the many ways that these wonderful animals are a part of our lives. During these warmer summer days, when our Animal Care and Adoption Centers are inundated with animals that have become homeless for varied reasons, you have helped us to create additional bonds as new families were formed. Hats off to your writers and to photographer Mark Wilson for introducing several of our adoptable animals to their new owners.
CARTER LUKE
President, MSPCA-Angell
Boston

NO INHIBITIONS
If Miss Conduct (a.k.a. Robin Abrahams) can sing to her pet, I guess it's OK for me to sing to mine ("Pet Sounds," July 13). Belting out a tune with some lyrics that rhyme with "corgi" is one of my great pleasures in life, no matter what Homer and Spike think.
MARIANNE MCCAFFERY
Wellfleet

SAVING GRACE

I read with great pleasure the essay by Marianne Leone and her observations about being "rescued" by two adopted dogs ("Coupling," July 13). I was rescued five years ago by a 9-year-old basset hound named Sophia Loren, whom I adopted from New England Basset Hound Rescue. Leone put her observations together in a way that makes animal adoption less mystifying to the general public and certainly a more attractive alternative to the more routine purchase from pet store that acquires their animals from deplorable puppy mills.
ARNIE CESTARI
Mattapoisett and Boynton Beach, Florida

Bless Leone for taking those two dear creatures and giving them a home and some love. I have three rescued dogs, and a fourth coming next week. Like Leone, had an overwhelming amount of sadness in my life. One can either embrace it and then throw it off , or cling to it and let it corrode your soul. Thank goodness that Leone found the strength to throw it off.
BARBARA HUNTRESS-RATHER
Amesbury

Leone's brief column contained more humanity than many 900-page novels I've read. I cried from beginning to end.
CATHY FRACASSE
South Egremont

DESIGNER DOGS

I love Mark Pothier's story ("Perspective," July 13) and can relate 100 percent, as there is an 18-week-old mini goldendoodle napping at my feet right now. Jennings (named for Peter) came home nine weeks ago and has been spreading puppy love all over Boston every day. I know that teddy-bear look Pothier describes, the look that smiles at people and screams, "Hey, why aren't you petting me right now?!" The first time I saw a black goldendoodle in person was when I went to pick up Jennings at the breeder, and they are stunning.
MARGOT DUZAK
Boston

As an involved animal rescue volunteer, am glad that you devoted an entire issue to pets. In regard to Pothier's "Perspective" piece, I was disappointed to read that although his friends and wife had an interest in adopting a needy puppy, he chose to go another route. Very sad, as I cannot imagine his argument against saving a dog that may instead be put to sleep. There hundreds of golden retriever puppies on Petfinder.com.
K PAYNE
Framingham

FED UP WITH FIDO

I couldn't agree more with Wesley Morris's column about dogs ("I Hate Your Dog," July 13). I have one and adore him. But he's not my kid (of which I have two). Finn, the pooch, certainly completes our family, but for god's sake, he's a dog. He sleeps on the floor, gets dry food, and lots and lots of love and exercise. I worry about people who have a better relationship with their dogs than with people.
BECKA YTURREGUI
Waban

It's OK that Morris doesn't like dogs, but why did he need to glorify it? It's offensive to people like me who love animals. Perhaps he's never known a dog who saved a life or who assist people with special needs.
Of course most animal owners put their pets first - why wouldn't we when there are people like Morris who look to exploit our sentiments about the benefits of owning a dog with his own sentiments about why we shouldn't?
CHRISTINA HEBERT
Worcester

I suspect you'll get nailed with letters from people criticizing Morris's column. I don't hate dogs but certainly have met my fair share of those I chose to dislike intently. I write to support Morris's right to not love every dog he meets and to be excused from meeting dogs he doesn't care to meet. It's miserable to have to spend time with a dog if the situation is just too uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with his thinking, and he deserves to have his wishes respected by dog owners.
PENNY RICHARDS
North Reading

DEBATING BREAST MILK

H.M. of Quincy objected to being "exposed" to her colleague's breast milk in the company fridge ("Miss Conduct," July 13) - puh-lease! It's just a little ol' bottle of breast milk. It's not offensive, it won't pollute anything else in the fridge, and, as Robin Abrahams points out, it looks like soy milk. Let H.M. pretend it is soy milk and stop worrying about it. Or let everybody who uses the fridge be asked to put their items in paper bags. Lord knows other people's food can look plenty gross. H.M. can be on the forefront of the Food Modesty Movement.
LISA VAN DER LINDEN
Walpole

As long as what is stored in a shared refrigerator is non-septic (no urine samples, please), then I disagree that anyone has the right to object to what another person keeps there. Another example would be a vegetarian objecting to my roast beef sandwich or a Muslim objecting to my BLT. If finding bacon, meat, or breast milk in a fridge makes you uncomfortable, then too bad.
STEVE TWADDLE
Hudson, New Hampshire

This very same incident happened to me. Yes, I am the "seriously inappropriate" off ender. Contrary to Abrahams's opinion, all of my co-workers, men and women, rallied around my need to store breast milk in the community fridge when an anonymous person complained to my supervisor. Being a working mom is hard enough, and it's sentiments like H.M.'s that make it all the more challenging.
JEN SHEPHERD
Norwich, Vermont

Until every employer provides a dedicated refrigerator to store breast milk, let alone a private area to pump, it is perfectly appropriate and in many cases necessary to use the office refrigerator to store this milk until the end of the day. Would Abrahams say that an employee storing essential medicine in the office fridge is inappropriate because co-workers might feel "uncomfortable" about dealing with an illness? The private and public health benefits of nursing, including benefits to employers, are well documented. I'm lucky to work in an office that
supports nursing.
LOIS JOHNSON
Watertown

Could the breast-feeder store her milk in a cooler inside the fridge, as I did? Of course, but I don't think she deserves to be chastised in Abrahams's column for doing otherwise. Breast-feeding women come up against enough obstacles in returning to work, not the least of which is finding the time, the place, and the energy to keep pumping that breast milk. The co-workers of breast-feeding women should not be led to believe that breast-feeding is gross or inappropriate by someone of Abrahams's credibility and influence.
SARAH JENSEN
Belmont

What's "seriously inappropriate" in this picture is the idea that a nursing mom should hide her milk away in a paper bag, as if it were something to be ashamed of. Does Abrahams really want to reduce the monumental commitment and dedication of a working mom down to the level of a sleazy drunk hiding away his bottle of gin? The last thing a woman needs at this fragile time in her life is to be nit-picked over where she stores her milk. Breastfeeding is a linchpin of hypocrisy in our society. On the one hand we're told, by the medical community and fellow parents, that breast-feeding is the best thing we can possibly do for our babies. But on the other hand, we're told we shouldn't let anyone know that we're doing it.
D. JOAN LEIB
Somerville

How dare Abrahams suggest that breast milk is disgusting and should be kept from view. It is uninformed people like Abrahams who lead to women unsuccessfully breast-feeding. I fully intend to boycott her column.
K. BREWER
Boston

If the hypothetical problem of co-workers appropriating breast milk for their morning coffee is a concern, then the employer can designate a properly equipped breastfeeding room or, better yet, impose sanctions on the milk-stealers.
MARGARET WALSH
Peterborough, New Hampshire

Robin Abrahams responds: In no way do I believe, nor did I indicate in my response, that breast milk is disgusting. Given societal mixed feelings on matters biological, however, breast-feeding mothers returning to the workplace may find that a bit of discretion - a cooler bag would be sufficient - helps them maintain a more professional image. For further thoughts, see my blog at boston.com/missconduct.

FAULTY TOWERS
Your glowing tribute to the Boston Redevelopment Authority's Kairos Shen ("The Shaper of Things to Come," June 29) omitted his most important innovation: his outright substitution of his own opinions for the rule of even the BRA's infinitely flexible laws. Small wonder that Mayor Tom Menino, after years without a chief planner, has elevated Shen to uber-control.
The article makes numerous errors: Linkage is unrelated to negotiated community benefits. Height is not necessary for financial viability (many lawful developments were recently built or are in the pipeline, while the 400-foot Columbus Center project founders). Planned Development Areas do not necessarily wipe out all zoning, although the BRA pretends they do. The height of Chinatown's Dainty Dot tower was unrelated to the developer's affordable housing "donation" - in fact, as he admitted to a confused Zoning Board of Appeal, he had offered far fewer affordable units when the tower design had been even taller. But you got one thing very right: Shen has the ability to make people think he said yes, when he really said no.
SHIRLEY KRESSEL
Boston

SEEN ON THE WEB
From poster Joel at Bob Collins News Cut on the Minnesota Public Radio website:
Of course each person will impose their own limits, as they should. I love my cats dearly, but I don't think I could spend more than $1,000 (if even that much) on a single treatment for them. But then again, you never really know for sure where your limits are until you're placed in that position.

TAKE US HOME! AND YOU DID!
"Elvis has left the building," says MSPCA-Angell spokesman Brian Adams. That would be Elvis the chicken (left), one of the adoptable animals featured on our cover and contents page on July 13. After his magazine appearance, Elvis found a home, as did the vast majority of the other animals (including Chip the cocker spaniel, Zoe the cat, Tucker the Labrador retriever, and Rembrandt the rabbit). The quarter horse named Cooper has had some serious inquiries, which Adams says is significant because horses are typically difficult to place. But not all animals were so lucky. As of press time, Killian the green iguana and Tito the turtle still had no takers.

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