Busy, Busy, Busy

We heard what's great about boomers - from civil rights advances to volunteerism. And then we heard what's bad - from whining about busy schedules to creepy parental behaviors. Jennifer Nicholson Graham may bemoan the baby boomer's aversion to idleness ("American Idle," July 27), but her article left me wondering what planet she is living on. Certainly not the planet where this aging boomer works full time (to pay two college tuitions) for a company that thinks giving you a laptop means owning you 24/7. Nor does she have aging parents who also need a little attention now and then. I can honestly say that those time-savers she refers to - grocery stores that sell pre-killed chicken, running water, and, yes, the Internet - don't provide me with hours of potential idleness. They make it possible for me to survive. I would give anything for a little idleness, a little time to notice how blue my hydrangeas are, time to kick off my shoes and just zone out.

EMILY ROSS
Quincy

I agree with Graham that we think that "if we're not busy, busy, busy, we must be lazy, lazy, lazy." This is all talk. I believe we've become afraid of ourselves and our thoughts, and we believe more in achieving our goals (at times at someone's expense) then in enjoying the process.

SAVITA SHUKLA
Dover

"American Idle" is so true, but it gets worse - wait until you retire. Having been born in 1930, I'm a "little" beyond the boomer stage. I retired in 1995. I have all the time in the world, and absolutely nothing gets done. Every room in the house that I was going to clean out is worse than ever. Projects are started and uncompleted. Every one of my friends has the same complaint - where does the time go? - and don't all of us know that we don't have a lot of it left?

EILEEN F. HIGGINS
Quincy

Graham's "American Idle" missed one causal factor: the time and energy spent in excess socialization by boomers seeking to pair up. It is draining and keeps one from being at his or her best. Stacey Chase's "Older, Wiser, and Available" (July 27) was a case in point. The "looking" scene is pressure-filled and a strain on judgment, especially when assessing so many potential partners at one sitting. It's better to engage in rewarding activities while not continually on display - such as going to museums, allowing one to see and be seen while passionately engaged in something mutually pleasing.

JOHN BURCIAGA
Newburyport

Chase's article captured the emotions and challenges of middle-aged (and beyond) dating accurately and entertainingly, and it really hit home for me. I am writing while on vacation on Cape Cod alone. When I wrote a check to rent this Eastham house back in April, I had visions of sharing it with "the girl next door." That would be the woman of my dreams. I have dated frequently but haven't met her yet.

RAY MASCOLA
Westford

PARENTS AS PALS

Regarding "Too Tight? Or Just Right?" (July 27): Would these children still be spending all this time with their parents if the children were picking up the bill? What I have found with my friends and family is that as long as the tab for dinners, vacations, or purchases is taken care of by the parents, the children are more than happy to spend time with them. I think this practice hinders children's growth and fuels the frustrations for those who think they should own and be traveling the world by the time they are 23.

SUSAN CAFAZZO
Lynnfield

The behavior of baby boomer parents seems downright creepy to me.

MICHAEL LASALANDRA
Woburn

KEEPING SCORE

Tom Keane suggests that the boomer generation (of which I am a card-carrying member) is truly America's "Greatest Generation" because, before the boomers' emergence, the country was a welcoming place only to white, straight males while offering a "far bleaker" existence for all others ("Perspective," July 27). However, I would suggest that the process of breaking down the barriers of discrimination is a gradual, evolving, and inevitable process, rather than the result of some leviathan effort by a single generation. Interestingly, a comparison of today's boomer-packed Supreme Court reveals a far less tolerant mind-set in this area than that of the Warren Court of the 1960s, which was occupied not by boomers but their predecessors. In addition, a quick review of the current relative pay scales of African-Americans and women, as well as a socioeconomic breakdown of who is fighting in Iraq and who is staying home, suggests that the author may be seriously overstating the boomers' influence in this area.

MARTIN R. DUWORS
Lynn

Thanks go to Keane. This is something I've been mumbling under my breath for years. I'm white, female, born in 1946. Today's young women expect to be taken seriously, and good for them. But most of them have no concept of the lumps on my head from bumping against that ceiling. They have no idea how hard-fought those battles were - not just for those of us "lacking" a Y chromosome, but also for those with an excess of melanin in the skin or with an attraction to the "wrong" gender or race. And some of the battles are ongoing.

MEIKE OLIN
Danvers

Surely a writer of Keane's caliber could find a way to extol the contributions of the boomer generation without resorting to demoting the contributions of our World War II heroes. Without the sacrifices that produced a victory in World War II and the postwar economy our veterans built, the climate for change would not have been in place for the next generation's initiatives.

VICTOR WHITE
Mashpee

A BOOMER MUST

We were eager to read your boomer issue but were disappointed that no one discussed what we and many of our friends do in retirement - volunteer. We hope this letter will encourage boomers to look into helping others through senior services, hospices, hospital auxiliaries, etc. before they become the recipient of the benefits these organizations provide.

PAUL AND BOBBIE CURLEY
West Barnstable

THE BEST GIFT

I can't agree with Robin Abrahams more regarding her response to the student who wished to thank her mentor ("Miss Conduct," July 27). I have just retired from 34 years of teaching. I can't tell you how many little gifts I have received from students that were meaningful at the time but often found a spot collecting dust on a shelf. However, I have kept every note from a student or parent and have read them many times (sometimes when I was having some dark doubts about continuing with teaching). These letters always boosted me up just when I needed it.

KENNETH THOMAS
Walpole

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