The Spam Victim Strikes Back!

Ever want to exact revenge on one of those annoying e-mail spammers offering a fortune if you?d just share your bank information? I did.

About 90 to 95 percent of all e-mail today is spam. I've been launching counterattacks on spammers for a long time. But earlier this year, I struck up a more extended exchange with an official of an unnamed company, which promised me a 20 percent cut of the profits if I provided personal banking and credit card information. Here are the condensed e-mails that followed.

THE START

Dear Representative,

We will like to congratulate you for you willing to be our representative in your region, but we want you to know that you did not fill your details in the form we sent to you earlier. [The information requested: name, address, city, zip code, state, home phone, cellphone, age, gender, marital status, occupation, and name of bank.]

Thanks for your Co-operation
Mr. Ben Winners

Dear Sir,

In my excitement, I overlooked the form. I shall send the information required. My commission will be 20 percent, yes? And could you perhaps provide a bit more detail on the type of work I will be doing? If it has to do with crafts, I excel at that!

Thanks once again for response, we must let you know that what you will doing for us is to work online for us. so we want you to provide us the details as soon as posible inclunding your phone number and the extact country you locate.

Best Regards
John Clerk

I am sorry for any misunderstanding. My country is the US, although my father was born in Albania and I have frequently visited there during the barley harvest. Nostalgia, I guess, because the truth is I don't care much for barley. Except in beer, naturally.

Am glad to hear from you because have been wondering why you did not give me your details so i could register your details in our data base. Just get back to me with your credit card number and the limit. Hope to read from you.

I may be moving to Canada for an extended period due to some tax difficulties here. I hope this does not pose a problem. I have an automobile club membership card - would this be sufficient? I am eagerly awaiting your credit card numbers so we can begin.

Am glad you moving to canada, we can also do business there. In my last email i ask you to provide me your credit card number and the limit. instead you asking of my own. PLEASE MAIL ME THE DETAILS SO AS TO START BUSINESS OKAY.

Do you happen to know of a good online program for learning French? I'm concerned that my business skills may be affected in Canada given that the only word I know in French is oui. Regarding numbers, I have two accounts: I call my checking account number 2 because it is my lucky number. Thus it follows that my savings account is number 3, because it follows 2 and I opened it second. I hope this helps speed things along.

I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN. CAN YOU PLEASE EXPALAIN TO ME BETTER.

There seems to be something wrong with your computer - all of your words are coming across in capital letters. I eagerly wait for word on what title I might hold - please provide that as soon as possible as I would like to have some fancy business cards designed. I am thinking about two or three colors as well as embossing. What do you think of scratch-and-sniff? It's kind of retro, I reckon. Finally, here are some of my account numbers: 6, 9, and 0.

My mail are not coming in capital letter for no reason, i did it purposely so you can see what am typing very well.

Ah, this is much easier to read! Thank you, boss! (If I may be so brash as to assume have locked up the gig.) My mind, it is not focused. I told my doctor I felt overmedicated, but he did not seem responsive, even after I noted that I saw two of him in the examination room. Still awaiting word on my title. It's holding up the business cards. In the meantime, two more numbers: 9 and 7. Wait, that's actually a 1 that resembles a 7. This damn medication!

It seems you dont know what credit card number means. A credit card number contains 16 digit.

Well, that certainly accounts for my difficulty in ordering socks and other men's unmentionables online! Quite frankly, I am in desperate need of some new boxers. But let's get back to business. Some more digits coming your way - 3 and 18. Tell me when you have enough.

i dont think you are seriuos, just let forget all this deal okay.

Mark Pothier is senior assistant business editor at the Globe. E-mail comments (not requests for credit card numbers) to mpothier@globe.com.