What a Dream It Is Getting Old

Everyone keeps telling Cambridge senior and newly published author Eliza Appleton, 17, that high school is the greatest time of your life. She?s not so sure.

(Photograph by Blake Fitch)

In Red: The Next Generation of American Writers - Teenage Girls - on What Fires up Their Lives Today, arriving in paperback next month, you contributed an essay titled "Cribs" about grinding, or dirty dancing. You equate it to safe sex.
Maybe it's super safe at this point. It's a way of being sexual without having to worry about having consequences.

True, though it's not exactly like playing Scrabble. Did your parents know what it was?
They probably knew what it was, but they didn't understand what it was for. Or what it meant. I wrote the piece to educate parents and liberate teens and show parents we're not doing this just to make them angry or because it's cool.

Then why do you do it?
Because it's fun.

My daughter is only 6. But I've grown increasingly certain that I need to buy some land in the Ozarks and whisk her away before high school. Am I correct?
No. The more experience one has with seeing these sorts of situations, the more prepared they'll be. The more you isolate your children, the more likely they are to go crazy, if not in high school, then in college.

What does it feel like to be 16 these days?
Stressful and exciting - 16 is the ultimate teenage girlhood year. You're getting ready to think about college, but you're still young and trying to figure yourself out.

I'm sure that people often tell you that this is the greatest time of your life.
It's not true. Growing into your own skin is nice, because you start to feel more comfortable with yourself, but you have a lot of trial and error. It's a very self-conscious year.

What were your biggest concerns?
The hockey team, the way I looked, schoolwork.

The hockey team?
They are considered the coolest boys by almost everyone in my school, Buckingham Browne & Nichols. I don't like hockey or watch hockey.

You write, "I think that if toddlers were taught about the world the way we're taught about sex in school, they would never leave their cribs." Do you sometimes wish you were younger?
No, but sometimes I wish I could do some things over.

Like what.
Try a little harder in school. I'd be a little nicer to my parents. My philosophy on life is that you sort of have to have no regrets, but being younger is so much easier, because you're carefree and you're not worrying about high school.

So you really think I don't have to whisk my daughter away?
She'll be fine.

What do I have to do?
Keep an eye on her. The best thing to do is have conversations with her.

Do I have to allow her to grind? What about tap-dancing?
I wouldn't make it so forbidden. The more forbidden you make things, the more eager children are to do them.