THIS STORY HAS BEEN FORMATTED FOR EASY PRINTING
Pierced

Everybody in

Vermont governor is quite the popular job.

By Charles P. Pierce
July 18, 2010

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Dear Cris Ericson: You’ll be happy to know that I have decided against running for governor of Vermont, which, as nearly as I can tell, is about as easy to do as joining Sam’s Club. You only need 500 signatures to get on the ballot. We have legislators down here who can forge that many before breakfast. And now, it seems, there are 13 people running for governor, including five Democrats, a Republican, and five independents, including one who advocates that Vermont secede from the union. This seems to me to be a terrible idea, in that it would leave Massachusetts with two strange foreign lands on its northern border, Vermont and New Hampshire. (How would Vermont announce it, exactly? Fire on Six Flags in Springfield?) And there’s you, listing yourself as a candidate of the United States Marijuana Party. First off, I’d like to say that your party has a very impressive title, both formally and as a seedbed – pardon the expression – for really terrible puns. I do have to say, though, that it makes me wonder if it isn’t a fusion party made up of a number of the feuding regional marijuana parties in the wake of the great schisms of Hawaiian sens vs. Kansas road weed, or Wishbone Ash vs. Molly Hatchet. I wonder if it isn’t a compromise party formed after the terrible intraparty brawl on the issue of bongs vs. brownies. In any event, it’s nice to see political compromise for a change.

Charles P. Pierce / cpierce@globe.com

  • July 18, 2010 cover
  • july 18 globe magazine cover
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