Miss Conduct - Boston.com

Green extremes

Resist the urge to be an environmental perfectionist, plus sibling squabbles.

Make ’em squirm

When genteel social combat is called for, plus throwing engagement parties years in advance.

A church disagreement

When a minister’s views clash with your own, plus kids first-naming adults.

Are you a him or a her?

Writing to someone whose gender you don’t know, plus the statute of limitations on gripes.

Hasty goodbyes

How to stop making phony phone farewells, plus changing gift-giving traditions.

Too far for animals?

Weighing the rights of man vs. beast, plus unbearably smelly gym mates.

Here’s to dry toast

When celebrants question your lack of alcohol, plus should you say no to posh parties?

Recently my husband and I invited neighbors over for dinner -- very informal, just spaghetti and meatballs. Fifteen minutes before dinner, the husband called and said that unexpected company had arrived about an hour earlier, and they felt compelled to stay home and get a pizza for their guests, who didn’t look to be leaving any time soon. My husband ...

Blindsided by butter

My good friend recently fixed me a dinner cooked in a butter sauce. She said, “I know you can take a pill for your lactose intolerance, and I assume you brought them with you.” This was in fact the case, and the food was delicious, but I had lingering hurt feelings and some amount of digestive difficulty the next day. ...

A question of race

I am of mixed race. Ever since I can remember, people have asked me questions like “What are you?” or “Are you this/that?” It started to irk me in high school. I don’t mind telling people about my mix when we’re on the subject of nationalities, but I find the random “What are you?” rude, especially since it tends to ...